DUKE NUKEM 3D USER MAP

TITLE:Bad Taste
FILENAME:badtaste.map
AUTHOR:Lincoln Lovelog (we have decided, how sad it is that others cannot
			appreciate our genius.)
E MAIL ADDRESS:toopack@swbell.net
MISC. AUTHOR INFO:Gee, let's see...I'm 23, a virgo, love movies, rave music,
		  long walks on the beach, and...okay, seriously.....
		  Contrary to popular belief, I don't artificially insemenate
		  mountain lions. But, I love this damn game! (and i've never 
		  even played dukematch!) YET...BUT I WILL!!!!
		  I'm a musician actually...In 2 bands:
		  CLEANER:psycho retarded evil techno movie theatre music
			  (kind of an industrial,rock sorta thing actually..
			  i'm just being stupid...and i write some of the 
			  lyrics!)
		  CRACKHEAD:B-Movie techno industrial joy!
  ...Recently joined AFTERLIFE..more of that great heavy industrial sound that
         we crazy youngsters can't seem to get enough of these days.....
      any info on these bands or any other retarded things things you'd like
      to say can be sent to my e-mail address.
				  
				 
				
       info on AFTERLIFE at Andrew D. Phegely's homepage.(don't know address.
                                               search for Afterlife.)
       WE'RE DISCORDIANS! THE CULT IS GROWING EVERYDAY! ERIS IS THE 
       CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE! OUR KIND IS ON THE WEB..JUST LOOK!
       
       oh yeah...I am asked to say the following:

       "WE LOVE DEFICATING ALL OVER THE PLACE IN PUBLIC RESTROOMS!"
       SEND e-mail for the info.
       of how to get a photo of Chicken Boy in doo doo action!

       He isn't joking. I've seen chicken boy piss everywhere
       in a QT bathroom. Claims he laid a turd in a paper towel dispenser
       once. Maybe you're the one who got it?! He's nuts...he shit in my  
       friend's wallet and mailed it to him.
	   (Stand back boy! this calls for devine intervention! I kick ass
	   for the lord!)
       BAD TASTE title inspired by the glorious Peter Jackson film of the same
       name. This man is warped. I wanna meet him and see if the back of his 
       head really opens up, but, i am afraid Chicken Boy might pee on Mr.
       Jackson's feet. He does that kind of thing you know.
	 (Hell hath no fury like a hippo scorned)
       By the way...the whole ANC thing refers to a certain movie theatre..hint..
       hint.. It's a big middle finger in their direction. These people treat 
       their employees like shit. The only way to work in such a place is to 
       lick someones asshole daily. I ain't gotta brown tongue baby, and I 
       don't have time to follow the world's fucking rules. We're a bunch of 
       freaks here i guess, but we don't suck anybody's dick for a paycheck.
       So...The next time you wanna go watch a movie, remember these magic
       words:FUCK THE AFOREMENTIONED THEATRE AND GO TO A DICKINSON THEATRE. 
       They're much nicer theatres anyway. Please stick together on this and 
       boycott the smarmy bastards!
		    !!!!!!!!!!!!THEY SUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!
	  (time for talkies.Now, what are you dirty Whores \pronounced hoo-ers\
	  doin' on my planet?!)
       DESCRIPTION:When I set out to build this level, I wanted to make it as 
       nonlinear as possible, but still follow somewhat of a path. You can't 
       just let someone walk right to the exit. Hopefully I've done my job
       well (like a true grasshoppa). If you end up at a subway stop and there
       is no subway car, wait, it is coming. I made only one car and a rather
       long subway system. I've concocted this level with lotso chicken &
       gravy and a little slice of Grandma's love. I tried my best to keep
       a balance between frame rate and detail but, if you're playing this
       on a 486, Good God!, you are in for the NES aggravation disorder....
       (deep in your brain, the trauma inflicted by 
       8 bit hell is now resurfacing. the slowdown you are now remembering
       from your Nintendo days is clawing at your sanity.)
	    \\\-do you like girls?
	       -no.
	       -and why not?
	       -they're silly.
	       -but Juliet's not silly.
	       -......no.

       LOVE THIS LEVEL!!!! IF IT WAS SINGLE, I'D LET CHICKEN BOY DATE IT!!!!!

       ADDITIONAL CREDITS TO:Tyson Brown; for lots of help and selling me his
			     Argyle Park CD after Turd ran off with my only
			     copy. (if you like industrial,you must hear this!
                             if you want to track down an
			     address then write Argyle Park's label "R.E.X."
			     bitch them out for not making enough copies.
			     people want it and can't
			     get it!!!!!

       PLAY INFORMATION* Your mother ate my dog!
       EPISODE AND LEVEL NUMBER:Huh? Jesus! it's Derick! He's gone ape shit!
       SINGLE PLAYER: !!!!!!!yes!!!!!!! A RARE ONE!!!!
		-So...You found your Dad's old stag movies eh?
		 Is it the one with the donkey and the chambermaid?
       DUKEMATCH LEVEL: Only If You Use "BADTSTDM.MAP" Capable of 8 players.
       DIFFICULTY SETINGS:Not Implemented. SPANK MY MONKEY!
       NEW GRAPHICS:No, but I just bought some cereal and it makes me giddy.
       NEW SOUND FX:No, But My Goodness, I Would If I could!
       NEW MUSIC:Please see stupid reply above.
	 -the next time i write i write in this diary mother will be dead. how odd.
           yet how pleasing.
       
       CONSTRUCTION*
       BASE:New Level From Scratchin my ass. Naa..The head shot's the only
					     true stopper!
       EDITOR(S) USED: BUILD!!! Builds everything but a bigger penis for 
		       poor old Smokin' Pete!! cheer up stubby!!!
       KNOWN BUGS:Not any that I or my peon playtester slaves have found.
		  If you find any, then PISS ON YOU, PUNY MORTAL!!HAHAHAHA!
       BUILD TIME:A Very Long Time Compared To Most People I Suppose.
		  everyone says they make maps in a few days to a couple
		  of weeks but i don't know how they do it. As i type
		  this I have spent a little over a month on this level.
		  that includes learning what the hell i was doing in the
		  first place.
       
       WHERE TO GET THIS MAP FILE* No pick up the monkey, you no get the big
       FTP SITES:                                            dollars.

       BBS NUMBERS:

       OTHER:

       
       *****HEY KIDDIES! IT'S TIME FOR ALL THE PERMISSION SHIT!!!*****

       PLEASE DO NOT USE THIS LEVEL AS A BASE FOR ANOTHER LEVEL.
       LOVE IT, HAVE SEX WITH IT, FEED IT APPLESAUCE, AND WIPE IT'S
       BOTTOM BUT DON'T MODIFY IT FOR USE AS A NEW MAP.
       PLEASE DISTRIBUTE THIS MAP FILE IN EVERY WAY KNOWN TO MODERN MAN!!!
       SEND IT EVERYWHERE!! BUT YOU MUST SEND THIS TXT FILE WITH IT!!!
       YOU MAY DISTRIBUTE THESE FILES IN ANY ELECTRICAL FORM (diskette,BBS,
       CD,WHATEVER!) JUST DON'T MODIFY THE MAP OR THE TXT FILE, 
       OR YOU WILL BE HUNTED DOWN BY A MILLION SLOBBERING, HUNGRY BUTT 
       HUMPERS FROM HELL!!!!! You Have Been Warned.
       BUT PLEASE, SEND THESE FILES TO EVERYONE FROM BILL CLINTON TO TRENT
       REZNOR. HELL, YOU CAN EVEN PUT IT IN A COMPILATION IF YOU WANT!!
       JUST REMEMBER THE ABOVE GUIDELINES AND REGULATIONS THERE MISTER!!!
	
	      ooh! I got meself a pair of socks!                                             

	
                                                                                                                                  THERE'S NOTHING OVER HERE                              
		                                                                                                             WHY ARE YOU EVEN LOOKING?
		                                     -->
		
		
		IF YOU WANNA PESTER CHICKEN BOY, DIAL:(816) 361-0683

			   THAT'S IT DADDY-O 
			   NOW BUGGER OFF.
	      chicken boy is my pal. he makes me laugh.
	      -did you not know you were sitting on his head.
	      -i felt something, but i thought it was my hemmorroids.
	@@@@@@@@@@ LAST MINUTE UPDATE ON BADTASTE MAP @@@@@@@@@@
		  HOME OF THE PORNO MULTIPLEX THEATRE!
       It would appear that we have found some bugs...
       1: Elevator in sewage system will automatically take you to the upper
	  floor without you having to push the space bar.
	  If you are on the upper floor and getting on to go down, press the  
	  space bar to bring the elevator up first. If you try to walk off
	  the edge and just drop down, the elevator will catch you and 
	  automatically bring you back to the upper floor. I don't know
	  what is wrong so I compensated for it in a cute little way!
       2: If you shoot the lights in the theatre lobby the pools of light
	  on the lobby floor will still be there. Don't know why that didn't
	  occur to me in the first place.
       3: Some theatre screens can be shot and they will explode like a t.v.
	  that wasn't intentional.
       4: Incase you don't notice on your own there are aliens in this map
	  who are big followers of Chicken Boy. There is one shitting in a 
	  water fountain, one squatting over a bathroom sink, and one takin'
	  a dump in a urinal!
       5: There is also a guy either pukin' in or drinkin' from a urinal (you
	  decide). He can't be killed. This was on purpose. Shoot the urinal
	  and watch him drink pee pee water...hee...hee..hee
       6: There is a room with a small fish tank and a creepy child
	  sodomizin' shark inside. Actually I haven't personally seen
	  this paticular shark sodomize any children, but you know, 
	  people talk. Maybe he just got a bad rap or somethin...
	  Anyway, this shark loves to float around the room in mid air
	  when you shoot the glass out of the fishtank. I know he's a cute
	  little bugger, but don't pet him. He may very well be the cause
	  of Smokin' Pete's stubby peter. I didn't fix this bug
	  because, quite frankly, I like flying sharks. I'd get drunk
	  with them and go camping if they were just slightly more
	  friendly.
       7: The reactor will continue to make noise even after it is blown
	  up. I never did figure out how to fix that problem. It troubled
	  me for a long time. If it bothers you so, then dance in circles
          while wanking and eating macaroni and beatle grub. nuff said.
	 I WANTED TO ADD MANY MORE SPECIAL EFFECTS TO THIS LEVEL,BUT            
	 I MUST BE A SIMPLETON. I HAVE NO CLUE AS HOW TO IMPLEMENT MANY
	 OF THE SPECIAL EFFECTS IN THIS GAME. THE ONES I DID INCLUDE 
	 WERE DONE THROUGH MUCH TRIAL AND ERROR.
	       -I don't know what kind of sick shit you're in to, but I want
		those things buried!
	 ALAS, THIS BE THE END OF THIS DOCUMENT, AND THERE BE NO MORE...
	    hopefully...........
	       -I bet she takes it up the duff the first night!
	       -hey...what's up the duff?
	       -you're too little. you wouldn't understand!

				  LINCOLN LOVELOG
				  1996 
				  REMEMBER TO PESTER CHICKEN BOY
				  (816) 361-0683
	     p.s.  i'd let you pester Lezli for tasting her own butthole,                   
		but her father is some type of cop so i won't be giving out 
		her number.
		although I'm sure Chicken Boy will...........                
		he.he.
	     PETER JACKSON IS THE HOLY SUPREME BEING. BOW DOWN.
    -say! isn't that the famous irish singer, Mary O'Lanza?
    -he's Italian dad. the world's greatest tenor!
    look at my pee pee. B========)
