
                             A WindoWatch feature


                               IDIOTS-REDUX

                        Copyright 1995 by  Bob Miller


 More idiotic ramblings from the PC Press.

 PC World - August - page 124

 [regarding MSN] Never before has client software for an online service
 shipped in the same box as an operating system.

 BM>Ever hear of Apple?  How about Warp?



 PC World - August - page 31

 Everyone wants  a CD-ROM drive on their desktop.

 BM>English 101 anyone?  Everyone wants ... on HIS desktop.


 PC World - August - page 88

 For one thing, the option to have a permanent swap file - which in the
 past could permanently occupy 20 MB or more - no longer exists.

 BM>You shouldn't use it but it exists.  And only morons (or those doing
 full color graphics) have 20 MB PSF's.


 Some silliness in the Summer 1995 issue of  GE2k:
 the Gateway  2000 Magazine. Page 10.

 Most files downloaded from a BBS, or other online service, come in the
 form of a self-extracting file which normally has an .exe extension.

 BM>Not the BBS's that I frequent.  Indeed, you would be very hard pressed
 to find any BBS -except a manufacturer's- that had .exe files on it. ZIP
 is the standard except for the diehards who prefer ARJ.


 Summer 1995 GE2k Page 35.

 If you are planning on placing the TEMP directory in a RAM drive, you
 should have at least 8 MB of RAM......With 8 MB of RAM, you can set up a
 3 MB RAM drive and still have plenty of memory left for other resources.

 BM>Rarely have I seen such a short paragraph with so many errors.  If you
 are planning on using a RAM drive, TEMP is the last thing you should use
 it for.  Most programs don't use temp files and those that do, use large
 ones.  Try printing a three page WinWord document with two fonts, two
 point sizes and a graphic.  The temp file Print Manager generates can be
 over 10 MB in size.  If the RAM drive fills up, the system will crash
 _hard_ and you will lose any unsaved work.  8 MB is the bare minimum for
 WFWG to even run in with any degree of stability.  You are going to steal
 37% of that precious memory for a RAM drive?  For TEMP files?

 _Ridiculous_ in the extreme.  If you must use a RAM drive with Windows,
 the absolute minimum amount of memory you need is 24 MB (16 for Windows
 and its apps plus 8 for the RAM drive).  And it is still silly.


 From the paragraph preceding that one:

 ...these files will not be deleted.  Why is this bad?  Because over time,
 these .TMP files will accumulate [true enough] and suck up your system
 resources, which can lead to those "out of memory" messages.....

 BM>No, Mr. Technical Consultant and Mr. Senior Project Manager, files (of
 any kind) do _not_ "suck up" system resources.  5 files or 50,000 files
 use exactly the same amount of system resources.  Zero.

 Windows Magazine August Page 241

 Fax cards supporting the emerging class 2 standard.....work better with
 ......Windows 95.  Only V.34 devices offer class 2 fax.

 BM>Please don't tell that to my old Aceex 14,400 modem.  It has been
 using class 2 for a couple of years and I'd hate for it to stop.


 PC Mag August Page 422

 I'd like to be able to check whether a particular disk drive has
 sufficient space before beginning to use an application.  Can you do this
 with a batch file?

 BM>The good news is there is an easy way .... The bad news is that you
 have to enter the number of bytes in hexadecimal...... [followed by a
 lengthy batch file and an explanation of hexadecimal calculations].

 Something is wrong with DIR?  It seems to give me the disk space
 remaining without such silliness.

 Windows  July  Page 277.

 We had problems with the video drivers supplied by Number
 Nine.....dropped more than two thirds of the total frames averaging 9.3
 out of 30, in a test.  Number Nine sent new drivers....the video results
 immediately improved. ... However, the new drivers repeatedly caused
 General Protection Faults..... Overall, ... ranked first in our testing.

 BM>How bad could the others have been if this was number one?


 Windows July Page 248

 Make sure MSCDEX is the last item listed in your Autoexec.bat file.
 Otherwise, it will simply take over the whole upper memory space and
 everything else will get dumped into conventional memory.

 BM>It will?  Gee, that must be news to the 40,000,000 intelligent people
 who load it early so that Smartdrive can cache it.  And our other stuff
 still loads high.


 Windows June Page 118

 Try using an 8 MB swap file for 12 MB RAM.

 BM>Try using 4 - it will work much better.


 Windows Page 119

 If you run standard Windows 3.1 and don't see the "enable 32 bit disk
 access" check box, it means that your disk  controller isn't compatible
 with this feature.

 BM>It does no such thing.  Maybe your Windows was installed from a SCSI
 drive or your hard disk isn't set up right in CMOS or someone used odd
 partitioning software or several other possibilities.  An incompatible
 hard disk is just one of several choices.


 Windows Page 182

 If your app supports a temporary swap space (Adobe Photoshop does)
 ......your second option is to create a RAM disk for use as temporary
 file space.....that should boost performance.

 BM>Since that program likes 30-70 MB as a swap file, that would be quite
 a machine that has that large a ram disk.


 Windows Page 188

 Many applications have their own print spooling utility.....Turn off
 Print Manager to eliminate this double spooling.....Remember to turn
 Print Manager back on...or your system will hang up waiting for Print
 Manager instructions.

 BM>Really?  Every time I turn PM off, my system works just fine.  Indeed, I
 have some difficulty in figuring out how a program that is off can be
 sending instructions.


 Windows Page 211

 MS DOS wants about 45 KB of the 64 KB HMA.....if you use Double-space,
 it'll gulp about 12k of the HMA. The Command interpreter will sip about 2
 KB.  All this leaves only about 3 KB which is just enough space for six
 buffers.  Fortunately, MS-DOS itself includes 15 buffers by default, so
 under the above conditions you can write a BUFFERS=21 to soak up that
 last drop of the memory pool.

 BM>Really?  MS DOS does not include 15 buffers, and only 17 will fit in
 the above scenario.  Why not try something before you write about it?

 Same article

 If you use SmartDrive, you may not need any of them.

 BM>Correct - as long as you want hopelessly slow floppy access.


 PC World July Page 52

 As of March, we're paying $30 per user to run the pre-release version of
 the software [Win 95 Preview] on the machines of an additional 30 users.

 BM>Gee, the rest of the world only paid $32 per FIVE users to
 participate.


 PC Computing July p.53 Hall of Idiot's Fame Star John Dvorak

 A friend who said "I have it from deep within the Windows 95 programming
 group that the real product [Win95] will not be ready until November.
 Period!"

 BM>Does this bear any resemblance to a virtually identical comment
 (although attributed directly to a source rather than a friend) that
 appeared last month in a different publication?  Could it be that his
 record of 2153 consecutive wrong predictions on the future of computing
 have so bewildered him that he is starting to repeat himself?


 Infoworld  July 12  page 3.

 You have chosen to go with Microsoft Office when a package like Claris
 Works would do the job for most of your users.

 This is too silly to even discuss.  Claris Works is a competitor for MS
 Works (and nowhere near as good).  To say that it will "do the job for
 most of your users" boggles the mind unless you have very low level
 workers.

 InfoWorld July 3  Page 54

 The Gateway system locks with a password, not a case lock


 InfoWorld July 3 Page 56

 Password protection or keyboard lock?  Gateway: both.

 BM>Confused, are we?  Or did the system lock vanish between pages?


 The Grand Prize Idiot of The Month Award, however, goes to Robert Cringly
 for his totally moronic column in Infoworld in which he claimed that
 Win95 would be shipped with a hardware dongle.   That one is very hard to
 top.  OTOH, Dvorak will, no doubt, come roaring back next month.

 Idiots Redux  is the invention of Bob Miller who has a huge collection of
 Conference Host assignments from both RIME and Ilink. His newest is the
 Ilink Windows95 conference . A very knowledgeable Windows writer, Bob is
 the head of a Mental Health Agency and can be found at
 bob.miller@channel1.com He and Stanley are regular WindoWatch contributors.

                                       ww


