
















 DISCRIMINATION BASED ON JOB PERFORMANCE
   by Mark Bylok
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   TORONTO, CANADA (DF) -- In an incredible search for justice,
 Joe Smirt of Toronto, Canada is suing McFast Foods, Inc. for
 discrimination because of a job promotion -- he didn't receive.

   Joe Smirt has been a full time McFast Foods employee for over
 twenty-two years and has never received a promotion from his bottom
 of the ladder job. When asked what the reasons behind this were
 Joe simply answered, "I was discriminated against because of my job
 performance."

   A very bad job performance, at that. An employee of the McFast
 Foods restaurant has been quoted as saying, "He's always late,
 smells like beer, and never listens to management."

   How serious is Joe? He is suing McFast Foods, Inc. for fourteen
 million dollars in lost pay, and a small percentage of the company.
 "If it wasn't for my obvious discrimination," Joe told us, "I could
 have been the president of McFast Foods."

   Joe's lawyer quickly broke in during the news conference. "For
 years discrimination has been based on physical appearance. In
 Canada, the law has changed to include homosexuality as a base for
 discrimination as well. Since homosexuality is not a visible
 characteristic, this has opened the door for many other forms of
 discrimination.

   "Discrimination is simply defined as an act of prejudice.
 Prejudice is defined as having a pre-conceived notion about a
 person. We will argue in court that management had a pre-conceived
 notion that Joe could not effectively be the president of McFast
 Foods, Inc. based on his job performance at an entirely different
 task. This is an obvious sign of discrimination."

   Joe quickly broke in blurting out, "If I was black or homosexual
 I could take them to court . . . so why not for this?"

   "Being African-American or homosexual does not affect your job
 performance rating," one reporter quickly pointed out. "Having poor
 job performance does."

   "You're like all the rest of them," Joe screamed out. "Thinking
 I can't do the job because my job performance has not been up to
 par during my twenty-two years of employment. Has it ever occurred
 to you that maybe I could have done a better job as president? Why
 don't we get the president to do a regular employee's job for a few
 years and see how good he gets at it!"

   I asked Joe's lawyer about the legal implications of all this.
 "What would you recommend employers do when promoting employees?"

   "There is a simple answer to this. Have a random draw. Anyone
 that wants to be promoted can put his or her name in a box and the
 company can then randomly pick out a name. That way there would be
 no chance of discrimination based on anything."

   "This could also work for job hiring," the lawyer went on. "When
 GM has an opening for chairperson of the board, anyone could have
 the chance of winning the position in a completely fair random
 draw."

   The press seemed shocked for a few moments, probably worrying
 about their own jobs. "What if the person ends up being under-
 qualified for the job?" I asked.

   "You bring up an interesting point, Mark. I will have to consult
 with my law firm, but the only reasonable solution to this that I
 can see would be to make discrimination based on qualifications
 illegal as well. That way owners would not be given the
 opportunity to pre-judge people based on their education or
 experience."

   "But that would mean a person without a high-school education
 could be the president of McFast Foods. What would this do to our
 educational system?" one reporter asked.

   "Our education system would still be there to help people better
 themselves. However, a random draw, or lottery if you will, is the
 only fair way to eliminate discrimination."

   The conference ended at this point when hundreds of people
 stormed into the meeting area screaming "Joe Smirt is our man".
 Joe Smirt, it seems, has a large number of fans and reportedly
 receives thousands of letters in support of his search for justice.

   McFast Foods, Inc. did not want to comment at this time until a
 court date is set.

   The story will be updated as new facts come in. Remember, you
 heard it at DREAM FORGE first!
                   -----------------------

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 Copyright 1995 Mark Bylok, ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
 ---------------------------------------------------------------------
 Mark Bylok is a university student, studying computer science, that
 is trying to figure out how to get maximum distance from minimum
 time. Although he sometimes concentrates on school, most of the
 time he is either partying or programming/publishing/BBSing and just
 about anything else that comes to mind. Being a SysOp for over
 four years gave him those incredible qualities of being rude and
 never responding to mail, but he does like receiving it! Mark can
 be reached at 1:250/808 and mb@tor250.org.
 =====================================================================

