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 Stupid Lawsuits!                                                           
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 The question here is not if the plaintiff is stupid but just how dumb was  
 the attorney who took any one of these cases:                              
 * A young high school girl, Shelley, missed an algebra class one day.  When
   she returned to class her teacher informed her that her grade point      
   average would be lowered since Shelley offered no excuses for her ab-    
   sence.  This took Shelley's grade point average down from 95.478 to      
   95.413; a reduction of only .065.  Shelley didn't think much about it but
   when she told her father about it, he decided to sue the school board -- 
   not just for the reinstatement of the .065 points but for 1 million      
   dollars as well.  Their attorney stated that Shelley's rights had been   
   violated under the Fifth and Fourteenth Amendment Rights.  The judge,    
   though why it is not clear, consented to reinstating the grade points but
   denied collection of the 1 million dollars or any portion thereof.  This 
   wasn't enough for Shelley's father and he appealed the case, with the    
   hope he would at least have his attorney's fees paid - The Appeals Court 
   Judge mumbled "Patently insubstantial" refused the fees, and punitive    
   and ended his ruling by taking the grade point way again.                
 * Anyone who has seen John McEnroe knows he has a flash type temper.  A    
   fan in the stand one day during a preliminary round of the U.S. Open was 
   about experience this hot, but short lived temper flare.  The fan was    

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 Stupid Lawsuits                                                            
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   so against McEnroe that he cheered McEnroe's opponent and cheered each   
   time McEnroe made a fault.  McEnroe, starting to get hot under the collar
   about this fan's attitude yelled out, "Don't you have anything better to 
   do than cheer for my opponent all afternoon?"  The fan yelled back "No!" 
   Further words were exchanged, McEnroe went over to the fan, flared into  
   a verbal assault, flung his racket in the air.  When the racket went up  
   in the air some rosin flew off the racket.  McEnroe went on to win three 
   sets to two.  But the fan wasn't finished, a week later he sued McEnroe  
   for six million dollars.                                                 
   The case alleged "grievous physical and mental injuries."  The judge     
   didn't see it the same way.  He stated that McEnroe may have acted in    
   a "childlike" manner and "shabby" but found no assault and battery to    
   warrant this type of legal action.  The judge stated that at most the    
   'fan' got a fleck or two of rosin on him.  Case was dismissed.           
 * A man went into a restroom at a bar; when he came out he complained that 
   "someone or something" had punched and kicked him.  The owner of the bar 
   waved it off feeling the man had too much to drink.  The man sued for    
   a thousand dollars for damaged from the bar's "ghost."  The judge, though
   amused by the thought of a ghost punching and kicking this man, was not  
   amused by the legal action and dismissed the case.                       

