
SPIRITUAL MUSIC ADVICE `N' STuFF
  by Rev. Richard Visage


  Well, it's nice to know that in the coldest depths of winter 
one can take a break from watching the snow drift around the yard 
to enjoy a few tunes. I can also count on my e-mail to warm me up. 
That, and watching Ms. LaBamba doing ski stretching exercises in her 
leg warmers. 

  To those who whined, sure, I'll stop ragging on Eric Clapton's 
turgid `Back to the Cradle' album any day now, especially if he 
actually shows signs of life in the next decade. Like, what can you 
expect from someone who has photo-ops with Brit Royalty? "Smile, 
Fergie, we'll prop up Eric next to you..."

  Sorry, but we don't do full page ads from EMI in DREAM FORGE, so 
you get no holds barred full-body-contact Rock and Roll kinda reviews 
in here. At least until we get some serious money in the contract, 
anyway . . .

  Well, kids, let's spin a CD or two and see who we can offend 
this month.


VITALOGY
Pearl Jam

  The last year has seen Eddie and the boys jamming with Neil Young 
on the MTV awards, getting gushy reviews in `Rolling Stone' and in 
`People' Magazine. A real indicator of just how mainstream Grunge 
music has become was when a Canadian band, Moist, had a hit that 
was a desperate P.J. ripoff complete with a video featuring Eddie-
twitches by the lead singer -- and they were mobbed by teenie boppers 
in suburban shopping malls all over the country.

  Gawd, the next thing you know, you'll be at the vegetable counter 
at the supermarket and you'll hear the Philadelphia Lite Strings' 
Muzak version of `Jeremy' echoing from the cantaloups.

  One tends to be cynical right off the bat when you see the 
publicity Pearl Jam has received lately, and after their well 
publicised campaign to keep ticket prices at concerts down, then to 
see them pronounced as America's number one band in `People.'

  Having said all this, it'd be the next logical step to tell you 
that the album bites, bigtime. 

  But, it doesn't. This is, in fact, a remarkable album, up to and 
exceeding the standards that one has come to expect from Pearl Jam. 
It drives right from the start with the perhaps too simple `Last Exit' 
and `Spins the Black Circle', and then begins to create magic with 
`Nothingman.' There are many more golden  moments, in fact, the last 
five tunes of this CD rate as a high order rock 'n' roll suite. 

  There's a moment of something very different on `Pry,To' -- could 
it be jazz intonations? Hmm, keep an eye out for new musical 
directions in the future. 

  `Bugs' is the oddball tune on the CD, a kind of accordion 
ditty/chant that I found hilarious. Buy this one quick, before the 
Philadelphia Lite Strings get a hold of it. 


LIVE AT THE BBS
The Beatles

  It's nothing short of amazing to have a new Beatles album to 
review, I believe the last one I reviewed was released was well 
over twenty years ago. If memory serves me, the album was `Let it Be' 
-- an album actually made before `Abbey Road', but released afterwards 
due to the many problems the Beatles were going through at the time. 
Damn, I just dated myself again. Don't worry kids, I won't fall down 
and break my hip any time soon.  

  But I digress. This new collection is from an era previous to 
`Let it Be'. Prior to rubbing a lamp on `Revolver' and letting the 
creative genie completely loose on `Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts 
Club Band', the Beatles were the MopTop Fab Four, singing yeah-yeah-
yeah tunes. Somewhere in the middle of the sixties, there is a 
dividing line between the like of Herman's Hermits and The Electric 
Prunes -- and this material is definitely from the former.

  They did the yeah-yeah-yeah stuff damn well, mind you. This 
collection has some real jewels from that era, and will be a treasure 
chest for Beatlephiles and music historians. 

  It's not likely to turn the crank of anyone without lots of grey 
hair. Interesting stuff, but don't expect anything that doesn't sound 
like 1964.  


HELL FREEZES OVER
The Eagles

  Oh hey, there's a nice version of `Hotel California' on this 
puppy. The tune has some nice trick guitar work, is beautifully 
recorded, and I'd really enjoyed it if I hadn't heard it a bazillion 
times, as has everyone else on the planet. There's also updates of 
Eagles standards `Tequila Sunrise' and `Desperado', both well done. 
The question does arise as to why the Eagles felt the need to redo 
these classics, though. 

  There's new material as well, however, but it seems to be thrown 
together -- perhaps it's a musical interpretation of Glen Frey's 
gastroenteritis. Both Frey and Henley have had standout solo albums, 
so one must surmise that they just didn't care about this one.

  Break back up, guys! 


ILL COMMUNICATION
The Beastie Boys


  This album has been released for some time, and I hadn't bothered 
to give it a listen. 

  It would seem that, these days, to have credibility as a rap 
artist, one not only has to be black but must also be up for charges 
in a drive-by shooting. Stereotypical, sure, but I'm as capable of 
falling into the trap as anyone else. I had relegated the Beastie 
Boys into the category of a novelty white act in a black genre.

  Their comic-book tits 'n ass videos that accompanied their 
initial and rather lame, efforts put them squarely in the category 
of shopping mall rappers. It was only when I recently saw them 
perform on Saturday Night Live that I thought I should give this 
a listen.

  Big surprise. The band can actually play now, and the boys sound 
serious. If you listen to rap, check it out. 


Religiously yours,
Rev. Richard Visage
rv@visage.jammys.net


(Note to editors: You'll be happy to know that I accomplished my 
New Years Resolution with alarming speed. I still haven't figured 
out how to get the red lace out from between my teeth, mind you. 
Any progress on those endorsement contracts with the big recording 
houses? Like, would it help if I said something nice about Whitney 
Houston? ewwww.)

(Editor's note: You'll be happy to know our new health plan and
HMO provided by Dr. Jahhirr Alahbaphar, now includes testing for
many new and varied exoctic strains of STD's. He also recommends
brushing after every "meal" and adds, "Flossin'sooo good to you." 
Ah! . . . the negotiations are, umm . . . in the mail, along with
your check. Perhaps it would be best if Whitney's Christmas 
contributions were left unmentioned, maybe next year, or the year
after that.)
 
                               {DREAM}

Copyright 1995 Rev. Richard Visage                               
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Rev. Richard Visage is the official Spiritual Advisor to Fidonet, and 
is listed on the masthead of the Fidonews, where his correspondence 
with the infamous Doc Logger is published regularly. The Rev. operates 
1:163/409 on a laptop from various hotel rooms, and is bankrolled by 
expense accounts from unsuspecting publications who showed the poor 
judgement of hiring him. Canadian Government officials list him and 
his semi-clad secretary, Ms. LaBamba, as officially being "at large" 
somewhere in North America.
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