       SO, YOU WANT TO BE A SYSOP...
       By Leonard Richardson
       Sysop, Da Warren BBS & Grill (805) 854-2478
       In this issue: Introduction, BBS softwares
       ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
       Note: This was originally supposed to be in the June edition,
       but the editor thought it to be too opinionated. So, I edited
       it a bit and added my standard disclaimer (which I'd forgotten):
 
       The material in this column expresses the truth, as I see it,
       in its rawest and truest form. This may conflict with your 
       vision of the truth; this is good. I can learn from you, and 
       you can learn from me. This is what BBSing is about; 
       communication. Some of this stuff you probably disagree with.
       Good. I don't want you agreeing with everything I say. As the
       great Vonnegutt put it in Cat's Cradle, "Put down this book! 
       It is nothing but lies!" 
       With that out of the way, on with the show!
 
         So, you want to be a sysop. Well, there aren't a lot of 
       people who are more qualified than me to tell you how, than
       me. There are some, but not more than, oh, 4000 or so. But 
       that's not the point.  Anyway, if you want my resume: by the 
       time this goes to press, Da Warren will have been up for 
       just over a year (more if our good editor thinks THIS is too
       opinionated :). I've gone through annoying users, drive 
       crashes, phone line failures, man's inhumanity to man, and 
       roast beef shortages.
       
         This is not a text telling you how hard it is to be a sysop.
       Their only job is to scare away people who might not be able 
       to take the stress of being a sysop. Long hours spent in front
       of the computer doing something besides playing games (although
       a lot of sysoping can be playing games if you play your cards 
       right) scare them. The very thought of giving up their flashy
       GUIs and meeses (As the 60's cartoon character Mr. Jinx 
       remarked, "I hate meeses to PEECIES!") for the hard and fast 
       world of DOS or OS/2 makes them start to cough up hairballs. 
       I could go on, but you get the picture.
  
         These people do not make good sysops. They're not willing 
       to put in the time, the money, or the effort.  To succeed as 
       a sysop, you must see yourself as not one sysop in a 
       multitude, but a valuable and essential part of the whole. When
       you sysop, the hopes and wishes of sysops everywhere are with
       you. When you encounter your first user trying to crash your 
       board for no reason that you can readily determine, your first 
       uncooperating door, we sympathise. And we help. Hey, we've been
       there. Running a board is not this big competitive thing 
       (except for mixed doubles sysoping, which is illegal in Oklahoma
       but slowly gaining acceptance elsewhere). It's a Zen sort of 
       thing.
  
         That's what this text IS for.  I, a sysop of a year's 
       experience will be showing you the ins and outs of sysoping. 
       Everything from types of sysops and BBSes to setting up 
       doors. When you encounter your first user trying for multiple
       accounts, you'll be able to laugh at their clumsiness because
       you'll know what to do about it. I'll be telling you that, and
       a lot of other things. And what's more, I will be doing it all
       while balancing a quarter on my nose.

       So: junk food. Check. Quarter. Check. Insanely Silly but 
       Informative mode on. We have ignition.

         I'm assuming that you have a certain amount of computer 
       equipment, or you wouldn't be reading this.  My assumptions 
       are:
             A 386/DX computer with a 120 MB hard drive 
             CGA monitor 
             14.4k baud modem

         This is really all you need to run a BBS. This is all I 
       started my BBS with. Now, after almost a year, I have another
       hard drive (for files) and i'm trying to buy some used CD-ROMs
       from a guy who nets with me, but he keeps stalling me. Says 
       he's not done with them or something. What kind of excuse is 
       that? 
  
         Anyway, CD-ROMs are cool but not really neccesary. They do 
       allow you to do massive core dumps of files into your data
       -base, which attracts the types of users I call leechers to 
       your board; but frankly, leechers don't do a lot for your 
       board unless they upload or you can get money out of them. 
       (There is, of course, a certain thril attached to knowing you
       shared a quality piece of software with someone, but let's 
       face it, it kinda loses its luster when that's all the user 
       does.)
  
       Note: If you're not using an IBM compatible, I'd think twice
       about starting a BBS. You can do it, but all the non-IBM 
       BBSes I've called are slow, clumsy, and boring, with but one
       exception.  I'm not saying you can't do it, but as far as I 
       can see, you don't get as much to work with.
  
         If you didn't have the minimum of the stuff I pointed out 
       up there, go get it.  Why are you still reading this?  Go 
       out to the store and buy!  Tell them you want to be a sysop, 
       and that to do this, you'll need a color monitor or a 14.4 
       baud modem.  Ignore them when they smirk their little 
       employee smirks at you.  A sysop can't afford to care what 
       ordinary people think about them. 

       Note: They don't make CGA monitors anymore (I learned this 
       when mine blew and I didn't want to spend $400 on a new 
       adapter card and monitor, eventually I got a used CGA for $50) 
       so if you're stuck with a monocrome, might as well go for the
       gusto. Get the biggest, fanciest monitor your money can buy.

         So you've got your stuff. What do you do with it?  Well, 
       if you just bought it, maybe even if you didn't, leave it 
       running continuously for a week. Most equipment burn-outs 
       occur during the week immediately after purchase? Why? 
       Nobody knows, but it sure makes it easy on you.  You need to 
       know if your new equipment can take it.  If you got a new 
       modem, try it on.  Call people at all different speeds.  See 
       how it feels downloading, uploading, playing doors. A modem 
       is like a new shoe, except it never stops squeaking.
  
         After you've determined that your equipment is cyberspace
       -worthy, you must ask yourself the first major question a 
       sysop must ask himself (or herself, although there are fewer 
       woman sysops. A shame, because in my opinion women are less 
       likely to succumb to stuffiness or elitism, two of the greatest
       destroyers of promising sysops). Like all such questions, it 
       is very big, and, in the cosmic scheme of things, totally 
       meaningless. It is:
                   
                   WHICH BBS SOFTWARE SHOULD I USE?

         There are literally dozens of BBS softwares out there. The 
       ones I can think of off the top of my head include Wildcat!,
       PcBoard, GAP, Spitfire, Searchlight, VBBS, RBBS, TBBS, 
       Auntie BBS (rare, I've only heard it mentioned once, and never
       seen it in action), WWIV, Waffle BBS, Remote Access, and 
       Renegade, the hacks and take-offs of which have reached 
       legendary proportions all by themselves. Renegade hacks 
       include Telegard, Oblivion, Vision/X, and its cousin Vision/2,
       ll of which (with the exception of Telegard) are CapItItaLiZeD
       lIkE THiS for some strange reason that only the few "elite" and
       "mega-k00l" "hackers" among us can grasp.  These people 
       (usually teenage males with ego problems) make wide use of 
       Renegade, hacks use them to trade illegal software and cuss 
       each other out, in about equal proportions.  If you want to 
       be taken seriously in your efforts to run a BBS, I'd 
       reccomend staying away from Renegade hacks (although quite a 
       few respectable boards run Telegard or Renegade itself).
       This wonderful variety in BBS software, of course, is the 
       source of never-ending holy wars among sysops and callers. 
       These range from (mostly) intelligent conversations to all-out
       flame wars.   I personally would reccomend Wildcat or Renegade,
       but my opinion only counts for so much since those are the 
       only two BBS softwares I've had any experience in, at least 
       from the sysop side, which is the side you want to consider in
       evaluating softwares.

         My point is, don't take anybody's word for it, especially 
       mine. I'm just some nut from California. Experiment. Set up 
       numerous softwares and see which one has the features you want.
       (Note: If you can program and don't see any BBS software that 
       suits your needs, please think twice before writing your own. 
       The last thing this world needs is another BBS software.) If 
       you're into minimalist BBSing, you might want to try out AIE
       -BBS. It's a little (40k) program I found out about on 
       Prodigy. It sets up in under a minute, and when someone calls 
       in, it connects, prints "AIE" on the screen, and waits for the
       caller to drop carrier. It's BBSing at it's simplest.  If 
       you'd like a more substantial sysoping experience, though, 
       one of the other softwares is probably more your cup of tea.

         This is a touchy subject, much like abortion or nipple
       -piercing, so I don't want to say too much on the subject, 
       but I will add that I've found Wildcat! to be the best software
       on the market, even if it costs $100.

        If you've got anything to add on this subject, send me a 
      private message through Wildnet in the General Chat conference,
      or call my BBS and write me or better yet use the user comment
      section of this magazine. You can also try me internet address,
      leonard.richardson@edge.com, but I doubt it'll work. Your 
      questions, comments, jokes, and death threats are also 
      appreciated and may be incorporated into future installments.

      Next issue: A sysop's wardrobe, The Sysop Diet, How to Set Up 
      and Advertise Your Board, and anything else I decide to throw
      in.

      THIS MONTH'S USELESS FACT:
      People who would make good sysops: Mohandas Gandhi, Snoopy, 
      Norm from Cheers, Mother Teresa, The Jolly Green Giant.
      People who would not make good sysops: Benito Mussolini, the 
      police chief from "Bakersfield P.D," Snoop Doggy Dogg, or any
      given computer whiz from any given movie.