                          
                       Slack Time
                   ==============

          The clock centered near his 3rd nostril, 
      
                            "Bob"
  
  looks out BEYOND the mere worries of the CON-INSPIRED
  daily routine, tempting you to watch as he bounces randomly
  about the darkened screen. The cares of gainful employment
  are behind you now as your work goes undone and time control
  becomes a reality......

  To Install:

  1)  copy the files in the archive to your C:\WINDOWS directory.
  2)  open the MAIN program group and open CONTROL PANEL.
  3)  open the DESKTOP icon and notice the SCREEN SAVER area.
  4)  select CRT SPRAY as your screen saver.
  5)  press TEST to watch "Bob".
  6)  press SETUP to change options:
       -Sound
       -REGBOB.BMP for a larger picture.
       -Time in seconds for "Bob" to remain in one place.
   7)  note: the other bitmap options don't work, and I assume this is
                 a freeware saver..... ??
   8) "Bob" is a 256 color image. If you use 16 color windows,
       I dunno ???

    PRAISE DOBBS!

    flashboy@cris.com
    Right Reverend Ed - Elder Elder of the Pegram, Tennessee
    Solo Clench ..

             
  --------------------------------------------------------------------
 
         VISIT THE MOTHER OF ALL SLACK SITES!
	   
      http://sunsite.unc.edu:80/subgenius/slack.html

--------------------------------------------------------------------

	         THE CHURCH OF THE SUBGENIUS
	               ONLINE PAMPHLET
	              DISTRIBUTE FREELY
	                TO *EVERYONE*

  excerpted from the Book of the SubGenius by J.R. "Bob" Dobbs
   compiled and edited by the Reverend Gristle Heavy Analog
     of the Church of the SubGenius, Santa Cruz 25 Hour Clench
        "Time Control? You've come to the right place..."

--------------------------------------------------------------------


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              J.R. "Bob" Dobbs
			  High Epopt of:

		     The Church of the SubGenius
		     P.O. Box 140306 
             Dallas, TX 75214

IF you suspect that things are much worse than you ever suspected-

IF the only thing you've been able to laugh at for the last 5 years
   is the fact that NOTHING is funny anymore-

IF you sometimes want to collar people on the street and scream 
   that you're more different than they could possible *imagine*-

IF you can possibly help us with a donation-

IF you see the whole universe as one vast morbid sense of sick humor-

IF the current "Age of Progress" seems more like the Dark Ages to you-

IF you are looking for an inherently contradictory religion that will
   condone megadegeneracy and yet tell you that you are "above" 
   everyone else-

Then...		    ___________________________
		      |\                           /|
		      | THE CHURCH OF THE SUBGENIUS |
              |/___________________________\|

                 could *save your sanity!*


-Your secret wishes can be granted in full- *once you know what they
 are! 
 "You'll PAY to know what you REALLY think."-J.R. "Bob" Dobbs, 1961

NOW, AT LAST! The step-by-step process is revealed! THIS IS IT!
 - the only "faith" that promises ACTION- THRILLS- SUCCESS IN SEX 
   AND BUSINESS!

------------------------------------------------------------------
             Feeling like there's just no SLACK?			      
------------------------------------------------------------------
	You may have 'snapped' already from the information disease!
 ("The sleep of reason begets monsters.") 
 Look to the High Unpredictables of the 
 Church of the SubGenius for pancultural deprogramming and 
 resynchronization!
 Perfect your subliminal vision -edit your memory- 
 *relive your reincarnality*
 SYNC UP! THE SUBGENIUS MUST HAVE SLACK!
 
 Using SubGenius secrets of BULLDADA and MOREALISM you can now
 MIRACULOUSLY ELIMINATE COMPULSIVE URGES such as smoking,
 eating, sleeping, working; end baldness, constipation, sex-money
 problems, assouliness, and painful shortage of SLACK!

	*Become a Doktor* of the Forbidden Sciences...
     make religion a kick-ass adventure! 
     Indulge in Self-Help through Raising Hell!

+------------------------------------------------------------------+
| The SubGenius:							                       |
|                 Patriot              Personal             Nurd   |
|                   or                  Savior               or    |
|                  Alien?                 or                Hero?  |
|                                        False                     |
|                                       Prophet?                   |
|									                               |
|	        	 Inspired Madman or Complete Jackass?              |
+------------------------------------------------------------------+

	Thought you'd tried everything? YOU AIN'T SEEN NOTHIN' YET! 

 Learn to THINK BIG! Develop the tricks of Length Extension! 
 Bring your *weirdest dreams* to rampaging LIFE!
	
 Stand erect for you own abnormality. WISE UP! *They're* out to get
 you.

 The "different" are being silenced by a global conspiracy. 
 WEIRDOS ARISE!! You probably already knew that the U.S. Government
 is a SHAM- something propped up there for you to *blame*. 
 But did you know that the *real* "powers that be" are not even 
 *people*? That they are actually shambling, unbelievable, 
 unmentionable, unthinkable THINGS??

   YES! JEHOVAH *IS* AN ALIEN AND STILL THREATENS THIS PLANET!

 Defy the sinister "Star Forces" which mock us all. Evil demons
 have kept the truth from humanity for thousands of years - 
 God has been misquoted all this time! His actual words may 
 disturb you...but "Bob" Dobbs is a bulwark against the unbearable
 fear and anxiety tormenting mankind. 
 
  "There's no 'Prob'...With "Bob"!"

 "Bob" is a way of life to *millions* - yet *half* of them don't 
 even KNOW it! He is the one true LIVING SLACK MASTER with the 
 spiritual know-how to help you BASH THROUGH the locked doorway 
 to FINANCIAL HEAVEN. He is the *only* real Short-Cut to Slack.
	
   	           SEE ANOTHER DIMENSION ON YOUR TV

 "Bob's" promise is to widen the scope and nature of *abnormal 
 behavior*...to explore NEW WAYS of going over the edge *and
 coming back*. PLUS to *bring back those who couldn't on their
 own*...to help you create the HIGHEST POSSIBLE EARNINGS from 
 the PSYCHODYMANICS of ABNORMALITY...to turn Conspiracy-implan-
 ted personality disorders AROUND and channel them into an 
 ILLUSION OF CREATIVITY that will *fool normals* and GET YOU
 SEX!

 As you learn more and more reliable, safe methods of Time
 Control, you will find your I.Q. increasing - your very 
 cranium will seem to pulsate from within, barely able to 
 contain the turmoil of glorious new concepts and mentalskills.
 Soon you'll be able to withstand COMMUNICATION WITH THE *XISTS*,
 our*mentors in space*; you will be ready for TRANSFIGURATION into
 a *new physical body*, a more powerful one, built to contain the
 surging mental and material mutations that your brain now 
 generates. 
 
 YES - become an OVERHUMAN, a dangerous and feared superhuman 
 of the future! Yet -because your SubGenius roots can never be
 forgotten - you won't be able to abuse your powers,but instead
 make them an unstoppable force for GOOD and JUSTICE, choosing 
 always to defend the oppressed SubGenius wherever they may be!
 The world is a turkey, and "Bob" gives you the carving knife.

 Fear THE STARK FIST OF REMOVAL no longer! 
 
 Become PHYSICALLY ATTRACTIVE- overnight! 
 
 Attain STATUS-LUCK-PROSPERITY by *blowing them off*!

 When you join this "Order of the Knights of Wotan," you get a 
 mastery of *fighting skills*...good health, an attractive 
 personality, a WEIRD ABILITY TO INFLUENCE OTHERS! 
 To BEND THEM to your WILL!

 You'll learn INCANTATIONS that lead to MASTERY over FISCAL
 PLANES... the OCCULT TECHNOLOGY of FINANCE POWER...E-Z ways to
 borrow money - from *other people who don't have it either!"


	    Achieve SHEER GUT BLOWOUT.

 Our "ascetism" consists solely of the abstinence from abstinence.
 Give up the not giving into of temptation! Think thoughts that no
 human has ever dared think before. You CAN learn to recall
 memories from the past that you had forgotten, or that never
 existed at all.
	
		CONTACT ALIENS BOTH BENEVOLENT AND EVIL!

 The Church of the SubGenius the first and last stand against a 
 crumbling world filled with Pinks and Glorps.

       "SURVIVE THE GREAT CATACLYSMS THROUGH UFO TRANSPORT!"

 You too can can be a part of this WAVE OF THE FUTURE!

 Make *strangeness* work for YOU!
 Thought you were 'ordinary'? WRONG.
 Tap your secret Abnormality Potential. 
 Take control through liberated weirdness.
 
        RADICAL INSANITY!

 WEIRDOS: Feel smarter than those around you,but constantly stomped
 back?

 Receive an unbelievable booklet:

 a very simple deposit achieves *INSTANT SLACK* at a savings of 
                    *$5000* 

           Unbelievably unusual pamphlets. 
           Damn weird. 
           Totally new.

           Send $1 to:
		   
           The Church of the SubGenius
		   PO Box 140306
		   Dallas, TX 75214

           and you'll NEVER be the same again...

			THE SPACE BANKERS SEE YOU!
			     THE END IS NEAR!
 			    COME GOOD ALWAYS!
		DON'T LAUGH NOW, ITS LATER THAN YOU THINK!
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