10CLS
20PRINT"TO","ALL MALE TAXPAYERS"
30PRINT"FROM","INTERNAL REVENUE SERVICE"
40PRINT
50PRINT
60PRINTTAB(5)"THE ONLY GOOD THING THE INTERNAL REVENUE SERVICE"
70PRINT"HAS NOT TAXED IS YOUR PECKER, THIS IS DUE TO THE FACT"
80PRINT"THAT 40% OF THE TIME IT IS HANGING AROUND UNEMPLOYED,
90PRINT"30% OF THE TIME IT IS PISSED OFF, 20% OF THE TIME IT IS"
100PRINT"HARD UP, AND 10% OF THE TIME IT IS EMPLOYED BUT IT"
110PRINT"OPERATES IN A HOLE. FURTHERMORE, IT HAS TWO DEPENDENTS"
120PRINT"AND THEY ARE BOTH NUTS."
130INPUTA
135IFA=1THEN137
137CLS
140PRINTTAB(5)"ACCORDINGLY AFTER 9/1/79 YOUR PECKER WILL BE TAXED"
150PRINT"ON IT'S SIZE, USING THE *PECKER-CHECKER* SCALE BELOW."
160PRINT"DETERMINE YOUR CATEGORY AND INSERT THE ADDITIONAL TAX"
170PRINT"UNDER *OTHER TAXES* , PAGE 2, PART V, LINE C-1 OF YOUR"
180PRINT"STANDARD INCOME TAX RETURN FORM (#1040)."
190PRINT
200PRINT"PECKER-CHECKER SCALE"
210PRINT
220PRINT"10.0 TO 12.0 INCHES","LUXURY TAX","$50.00"
230PRINT" 8.5 TO 10.0 INCHES","HOLE TAX","$25.00"
240PRINT" 6.7 TO  8.5 INCHES","PRIVILEGE TAX","$10.00"
250PRINT" 4.5 TO  6.7 INCHES","NUISANCE TAX","$ 5.00"
260INPUTA
270IFA=1THEN280
280CLS
290PRINT"N O T E  ANYONE UNDER 4 INCHES IS ELIGIBLE FOR A REFUND"
300PRINT"DO NOT APPLY FOR AN EXTENSION."
305PRINT
310PRINT"MALES WITH PECKERS IN EXCESS OF 12 INCHES SHOULD FILE"
315PRINT"UNDER CAPITAL GAINS."
320PRINT
330PRINT
340PRINT" "," ","P. J. CUTCHAPECKERHERO"
350PRINT
360PRINT
370PRINT
380PRINT
390PRINT
400PRINT
410END
