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jj.j>jNj^jyjjjjjjjjk$k7kJk^krkkkkkkll<lYlvlllllmmm*mLmnmmmWell, it's about time I got His Nobs. His Nobs, whoopee! Hmmm. His Nobs, huh? His Nobs Well, good. I won by %s point%s. That's about right. I shoulda won by %s. Ok. A win of %s point%s is not too shabby. The old master can still teach you young'uns something, can't he? So, Go, already. What are you waiting for? Me? I ain't got nothin'. GO! (sigh) Go on! Good. I got the last card. Well, good. I get a point for having last card. Last Card. That's fine with me. Last Card Now it's %s. %s, right? %s to you. %s %s and I get %s. Haha! %s for %s. %s for %s %s for %s. Just more for the old master. Not a blasted thing! Nothing! Who dealt this garbage? Sure, I'd end up with nothing! Oh, whoopee! I get stuck with nothing again. Haha! %s for %s. Oh, look! %s for %s. %s and I get %s. %s for %s %s and a lovely pair for %s Oh, %s and a pair, as well. That gives me %s Alright. That's %s and then a pair for %s. %s and this pair for %s Okay, we got %s and this three of a kind for %s. %s and a three of a kind for %s. Hmmm, %s.  Three of a kind. %s. Well, we've got %s and this three of a kind for %s. I set you up!. %s and a four of a kind for %s. You walked right into it. %s and a four of a kind for %s. Oh, sorry! %s and this nice four of a kind for %s. %s. And look! You gave me a four of a kind for %s. Thank you. Gotcha! %s and a run for %s. I knew you'd fall for that! %s and a run for %s. Yes! %s and a run for %s. Didn't see it coming, did you? %s and a run for %s. Hahaha!                                         Alright, listen up. This game, the Knock value is %s. So now we'll be dealing with a knock value of %s, got it? Hmmmm. The Knock value is gonna be %s. Okay, we got a knock value of %s. Ha! GIN! Oh, sorry about that! I've got Gin! Gin! Isn't that sweet? Gin. I hope I didn't catch you with TOO many points. Yup! I win again! Hey, I thought you knew how to play this game. Well, lookee here! %s point%s. I win again. You can't mess with the old master. I know all the tricks. Yet another lesson for you. I win with %s point%s! Ha! Thought you had me, didn't you? Well, I tied you so it's me who gets the points. Well, lookee here. I tied you. I guess that means it's ME that gets something. I hate to tell you this, but I just tied you, sooooo, I'll take those points. Nope, sorry. You've been tied! Hey, I get %s point%s. Oh, ain't that nice? I get %s. Just add another %s point%s to my score. Yup, %s more for the old master. I'm gonna put a stop to this now. I'm knocking on %s. Enough of this! Knock on %s. I knock on %s. Let's see what I caught you with. Oh, sorry, but I'm gonna knock on %s. HA! You've been underKnocked! Thought you were smart, huh? Well, I underKnocked you by %s. That gives me %s point%s. Does the word 'underknock' mean anything? It should. Poor baby. You just got underKnocked by %s. Blast it! You caught me with %s. I don't believe this. I got %s. Another moment or two and I'd have had you. You got me with %s. All you get from me is %s. Just add that to my 25 and I get %s point%s. The old master here will just add that %s to his total. Another %s. Hey, it's starting to get up there. Alright! %s more. Well, I got %s. Let's see. I have %s. Now, the old master has %s. I got %s. Yup! I got it. 31! Sorry, people, but it's all over. I got 31. 31! How do you like that? I did it again! 31. This has gone far enough. I'm knocking. I guess I'll knock now. Look out! I'm knocking! I think I better knock before one of you knuckleheads gets 31. I'll beat you all to the punch and 'first-hand' with %s. I am 'first-handing' now. I got %s. What do you guys have? 'First-hand'! I got %s. Can you beat that? Hey! You gotta take chances so I'll 'first-hand' with %s. Well, I beat you with %s. Forget it. I gotcha beat with %s. Nope. My %s beats that. Sorry, I got %s. Well, blast it! That beats my %s. Hey, that's more than my %s. My %s doesn't cut it, does it? %s. That's not good enough. At least I tied you. Hah! The old master tied you. Don't look now but I think I tied you. You just got yourself tied. All you knuckleheads lose. Yup, the old master just showed you ALL how it's done. Read 'em and weep, people. Each one of you loses. Everybody but me's gotta throw in a token. Blast it! I got the lowest hand. Well, I'll be ....it's me that's got the lowest hand. why, you no good....Stick me with the low hand, will you? I have the lowest hand. Yup! I win again! Hey, I thought you knew how to play this game. Well, lookee here! I win again. You can't mess with the old one. I know all the tricks. Yet another lesson for you. I win yet another time. Well, blast! I didn't get you all so now I lose 2 Hey, so I lose 2. I tried! Who woulda thought you knuckleheads would beat me like that. Oh, well, I mighta done it. The old master shows you all how it's done. That'll teach ya! You all lose. Well, now, that'll be a token from each and every one of ya. You don't mess with a bull! Yup! I win again! Hey, I thought you knew how to play this game. Well, lookee here! %s point%s. I win again. You can't mess with the old one. I know all the tricks. Yet another lesson for you. I win with %s point%s! Yah, I'll take it. It doesn't hurt any. No points? Hah! No problem. Oh, I'll take those kinda tricks all day long. Got by you guys. The deuce is right here. Hold your horses! I got the deuce and I'll play it when I'm good and ready. I got the deuce. What's your hurry? You that anxious to lose? Let me play the deuce here and get this thing going. Looks like I start. I'm the guy who starts this time. I'll start when I'm good and ready, and not any sooner, ok? You know, the sooner I start this, the sooner I win. Hey, it's %s to you, %s. Wake up! It's %s to you, %s. %s to you, %s, so it's your turn. Okay. I'll make it %s. Now it's your turn, %s. Well, blast it, I'm stuck! Looks like I'm all out of them magic cards. Dang it, can't do a blasted thing. 99 to you....nah, that won't work. I fold. Yup! I win again! Hey, I thought you knew how to play this game. Well, lookee here! I win again. You can't mess with the old one. I know all the tricks. Yet another lesson for you. I win yet another time. Blast it, that makes me clean outta tokens. I'm done for. Well, you knuckleheads actually got me. I'm finished for this game. Good! I'm done! At least now I can go read my paper. Well, I'll be! I lost! Yup! I win again! Hey, I thought you knew how to play this game. Well, lookee here! %s point%s. I win again. You can't mess with the old one. I know all the tricks. Yet another lesson for you. I win with %s point%s! Yup! We win again! Hey, I thought you two knew how to play this game. Well, lookee here! %s point%s. We win again. You can't mess with the old one. I know all the tricks. We win again. Yet another lesson for you two. Me and my partner win, and %s point%s! Yah, that's MY trick. Come on, hand that trick over here. Well, what do you know? Another trick. Just come to papa, now. You're my trick. Looks like I start. I'm the guy who starts this time. I'll start when I'm good and ready, and not any sooner, ok? You know, the sooner I start this, the sooner I win. I'm gonna take %s. Oh, I'll get at least %s. No problem. I'll get %s if not more. %s. Well, blast it! I went set by %s. How do you like that? Set by %s. I didn't think you knuckleheads were good enough to set me. And by %s. How about that? You guys actually made me go set by %s. I'm out %s point%s. Well, blast it! We went set by %s. How do you like that? Set by %s. I didn't think you two knuckleheads were good enough to set us. And by %s. How about that? You guys actually made us go set by %s. We're out %s points. Well, I got my %s. Naturally, the old master does it again. Got my %s. Yup, I got my %s book%s and that gives me %s point%s. You just can't deny it. I got my %s trick%s. Well, we got our %s trick%s. Naturally, the old master does it again. Got our %s. Yup, we got our %s trick%s and that gives us %s point%s. You just can't deny it. We got our %s. Good work, partner. For a change. Not only did I get my %s book%s but I got %s more. That's %s point%s total. Heh! Heh! Heh! Got my %s trick%s and %s more, to boot. Stand back, the old master is at work. I got what I said I would and more. ZZZZZ! I'm just so good I can't get worked up about taking my more than I need. Not only did we get ours but we got more. Heh! Heh! Heh! We got %s book%s and %s more, to boot.  That gives us %s point%s. Stand back, the old master is at work. Thanks to me, we got the %s we said we would and more. ZZZZZ! We're just so good we can't get worked up about taking more than we bid. Didn't want any, didn't take any. Zip! Like I said, none. It's boring not taking any. I said I wouldn't take any and I didn't so I get a bonus. Looks like I get my bonus. I said I'd take none and I didn't. The old master does it again. No bid, no trick! Yup, I did it again, didn't I? You just gotta marvel at me. Blast it! I shouldn't have taken any. Well, I'll be! I really didn't think I'd take any. You knuckleheads messed up my plans. Well, daggoneit! Now I lose points cause I messed up. I said we wouldn't take any and we didn't so we get a bonus. Looks like we get our bonus. I said we'd take none and we didn't. The old master does it again. No bid, no trick! Yup, we did it again, didn't we? You just gotta marvel at me..I mean, us. Blast it! We shouldn't have taken any. Well, I'll be! I really didn't think we'd take any. You knuckleheads messed up my plans. What happened, partner? Well, daggoneit! Now we lose points cause we messed up. Yup! I win again! Hey, I thought you knew how to play this game. Well, lookee here! %s point%s. I win again. You can't mess with the old one. I know all the tricks. Yet another lesson for you. I win with %s point%s! Yup! We win again! Hey, I thought you two knew how to play this game. Well, We win again. You can't mess with the old one. I know all the tricks. We win again. Yet another lesson for you two. Me and my partner win, and %s point%s! Yah, that's MY trick. Come on, hand that trick over here. Well, what do you know? Another trick. Just come to papa, now. You're my trick. Looks like I start. I'm the guy who starts this time. I'll start when I'm good and ready, and not any sooner, ok? You know, the sooner I start this, the sooner I win. I'm gonna take %s. Oh, I'll get at least %s. No problem. I'll get %s if not more. %s. Well, I got %s book%s for %s point%s. Naturally, the old master does it again. Got %s. Yup, I got %s trick%s and that gives me %s point%s. You just can't deny it. I got %s because I'm good. Well, we got %s point%s for %s trick%s. Or should that be the other way around Naturally, the old master does it again. Got %s book%s. Yup, we got %s trick%s and that gives us %s point%s. You just can't deny it. We got %s. Good work, partner. For a change. Not enough! So I get nothing. Blast it, if you don't take enough, you don't get anything. Oh well! I tried. Too bad. What a waste. You knuckleheads stopped me, didn't you? Not enough! So we get nothing. Blast it, if you don't take enough, you don't get anything. Oh well! We tried, partner. Too bad. What a waste. You knuckleheads stopped us, didn't you? Let's make %s trump. Trump this time will be %s. Well, looks like we're gonna have %s as trump. %s are trump this hand, alright with you knuckleheads? Yup! I win again! Hey, I thought you knew how to play this game. Well, lookee here! I win again. You can't mess with the old one. I know all the tricks. Yet another lesson for you. I win with %s point%s! Yup! We win again! Hey, I thought you two knew how to play this game. Well, lookee here! %s more point%s. We win again. You can't mess with the old one. I know all the tricks. We win again. Yet another lesson for you two. Me and my partner win, and %s point%s! Yah, that's MY trick. Come on, hand that trick over here. Well, what do you know? Another trick. Just come to papa, now. You're my trick. Looks like I start. I'm the guy who starts this time. I'll start when I'm good and ready, and not any sooner, ok? You know, the sooner I start this, the sooner I win. I'm gonna bid %s. %s. Now I don't want any argument! The bid is at %s. I'll go %s. Let's make %s trump. Trump this time will be %s. Well, looks like we're gonna have %s as trump. %s are trump this hand, alright with you knuckleheads? I'm starting the bid at %s. I don't have any choice. I gotta open the bidding with %s. Blast it, I've got to bid %s. I gotta start the bid at %s. Pass. By me. Nope! Uh uh. I'm passing. Well, partner, looks like we just went set by %s. We tried but we couldn't do it. We're down %s. I was pretty sure that'd happen. Now we're out %s point%s. Blast it, partner! Look what happened! We're never gonna win this way. Well, looks like I just went set by %s. I tried but I couldn't do it. I'm down %s point%s. I was pretty sure that'd happen. Now I'm out %s point%s. Blast it! Look what happened! I'm never gonna win this way. Well, for crying out loud! I don't have a marriage OR a nine. All these cards and no marriage or nine to be found. Why me! One lousy marriage or a stinking 9. Nooo. Not here. You know I could at least have been dealt one marriage or many just a nine. Right, like I really wanted the lousy bid! Okay, fine. So I've gotten the lousy bid whether I want it or not. Thanks, you knuckleheads. I never asked for this bid. Sure! Drop the bid on me. You'all are always picking this poor old man anyways. Hah! Do you see that? I got the last trick! Last trick! Just give me another bunch of points, please. I deserve this last trick! Well, well, well. Looks like I get the last trick! Great! No tricks mean no meld. Talk about your big waste of time. Not a single trick so no meld. One lousy trick! Would that have been too much for you knuckleheads to let me have? No trick. No meld. No use talking about it. Great! No tricks mean no meld. Talk about your big waste of time. Not a single trick so no meld. One lousy trick! Would that have been too much for you knuckleheads to let us have? No trick. No meld. No use talking about it.                 Yup! I win again! Hey, I thought you knew how to play this game. Well, lookee here! I win again. You can't mess with the old one. I know all the tricks. Yet another lesson for you. I win with %s point%s! Yah, that's MY trick. Come on, hand that trick over here. Well, what do you know? Another trick. Just come to papa, now. You're my trick. Looks like I start. I'm the guy who starts this time. I'll start when I'm good and ready, and not any sooner, ok? You know, the sooner I start this, the sooner I win. I'm gonna take %s. Oh, I'll get at least %s. No problem. I'll get %s if not more. %s. Oh hell! I took too many tricks!. Oh hell! I didn't want THAT many. Oh hell! I got carried away again. Too many tricks, huh? Oh hell is the right name for this stupid game. Not enough. Oh hell!. Oh well! Oh hell. I didn't do so well! Ha! Fine! Not enough. This wouldn't have happened if we'd been playing spades. I didn't take enough tricks!. Yup, the old master took just what he said he would. You really should learn from the old master on how to play this game. Like I said. I know what I'm doing. I told you I was an expert at this game. Let's make %s trump. Trump this time will be %s. Well, looks like we're gonna have %s as trump. %s are trump this hand, alright with you knuckleheads? Alright. This is it, the final hand!  It is 'no-trump'. Now, this hand is the No-Trump hand. Last chance to make points. This is the no-trump hand. No-trump, everybody. This is the last hand. Yup! I win again! Hey, I thought you knew how to play this game. Well, lookee here! %s point%s. I win again. You can't mess with the old one. I know all the tricks. Yet another lesson for you. I win with %s point%s! Yup! We win again! Hey, I thought you two knew how to play this game. Well, lookee here! %s point%s. We win again. You can't mess with the old one. I know all the tricks. We win again. Yet another lesson for you two. Me and my partner win, and with %s point%s! Yah, that's MY trick. Come on, hand that trick over here. Well, what do you know? Another trick. Just come to papa, now. You're my trick. Looks like I start. I'm the guy who starts this time. I'll start when I'm good and ready, and not any sooner, ok? You know, the sooner I start this, the sooner I win. Let's make %s trump. Trump this time will be %s. Well, looks like we're gonna have %s as trump. %s are trump this hand, alright with you knuckleheads? Pass. By me. Nope! Uh uh. I'm passing. Yeah, it looks okay to me. Sure, why not? Let's go with it. That suit's agreeable to me. I like that suit. Let's use it. Yeah, it looks okay to me. Sure, why not? Let's go with it. That suit's agreeable to me. I like that suit. Let's use it. Yeah, it looks okay to me. Sure, why not? Let's go with it. That suit's agreeable to me. I like that suit. Let's use it. No way! Forget it. I sure don't like that one. Nope. I don't want it. No. We have to try something else. Let's try %s as trump. I want to go with %s. You know, I'd go for %s as trump. I want to try having %s be trump. We was EUCHRED! Partner, what happened! They did a euchre on us. I knew we were gonna be euchred! I don't believe this. Partner, wake up! They euchred us! Alright, partner! Looks like we did it! Good enough! We made it! Yup! We made the bid. I guess we showed them! Looks like I took 'em all! Yup, the old master just showed you two how it's done. Each and everyone of them suckers.! Ain't it called 'marching' when you take them all? I was euchred! Now what the heck happened! You knuckleheads did a euchre on me. I knew I was gonna be euchred! I don't believe this. I gotta wake up! I got euchred. Alright! Looks like I did it! Good enough! I made it! Yup! I made the bid. I guess I showed you guys, didn't I? Looks like I took 'em all! Yup, the old master just showed you guys how it's done. Each and everyone of them suckers.! Ain't it called 'marching' when you take them all? This here is the left bower and he's tops! I'm gonna play the left bower now. Looks like I got that little old left bower just waiting to be played. You know, there's no messing with the left bower. This here right bower says I'm meaning business. I got the right bower and I think I'll use it. There ain't a whole lot better than this here right bower. Right bower! Yup! Partner, I'm gonna play this alone. I'm handling this all on my own. Don't need no help with this. Partner, the old master is gonna go it alone. I'm gonna deal. Let's see. I think it's my deal. Okay, now I get the deal. Maybe I can get some GOOD cards. Finally we got someone qualified to deal. Yup! I win again! Hey, I thought you knew how to play this game. Well, lookee here! I win again. You can't mess with the old one. I know all the tricks. Yet another lesson for you. I win with %s point%s! Okay, now I'll make some more points with these Just a little meld here and I'll have even more points. I'll lay these guys down. That way, you can't hurt me with 'em. Watch out, people. I'm gonna meld me some. I can spec right here. Okay, I'll spec this one. Let's see. Yeah, this'll spec. Now I can spec on this. I can add to this. Hey! Look! Even more! I'll add these. A little more never hurt nobody. I'm gonna go out now. Watch out! The old master is going out. Enough of this! I'm going out. I'm going out so count 'em up. I think I'll pull from here. This looks like a good place to get from. Okay! I'll just take from ..... Good enough. This'll do me fine. Can't use any of those so I'll take from the stock. Nah!...I'll pull from the stock instead. Can't get from the discard so I'll go to the stock. I'll take from the deck. Now, %s gets %s. Okay, %s, you get %s. I think I'll let %s have %s. %s, you're gonna play with %s. The old master gets %s. I'm gonna work with %s. Hmmm. Looks like I get %s. I get %s. Hey, the %s are wild. Okay, people, this time the %s are wild. The wild card this time'll be the %s. %s are wild. Well, looks like I lost %s. I'm out %s. Blast it! I just lost %s. Well, I'll be. You work hard and end up losing %s. What's the sense in playing if you're gonna break even? No gain. No loss. Boring as all get out! I seem to be spinning my wheels and getting nowhere. This breaking even stuff is for the birds. Well, at least I made %s. %s. It's better than nothing. I'll take %s any day. %s. That's just a bit closer to winning. I got a meld of %s. Let's see. My meld is worth %s. I got %s in meld to the good. %s to the good. Well, I still have %s in my hand. Looks like I get stuck with %s. Blast it! I'm left holding %s. You knucklehead! You caught me with %s. Hmmm Let's see Oookkaaaaayyy No, I don't think so. Oh, blast! I don't ... ah. Well, I'll be. That's not right! What happened here? I don't get it. That's not what I wanted. What's going on?  I really don't know what I'm doing wasting my time with you knuckleheads. I could be fishing. You know, fishing is my first love. Cards, I just play until the fish start biting again. I learned to play this game when you were still learning to read. Now I gotta teach you, I guess. You know, a man my age really can't afford to wait as long as you're making me wait. Hey, blast you! I ain't getting any younger. Are you going to play or just sit there lookin' at me? I don't care. Take your time. I know people like you can't think too fast. Look, I'm gonna go sharpen some knives. Call me when you're actually ready to play. I thought my wife took a long time to play but she's nothing compared to you. Back before I retired, I was in charge of knuckleheads like you. When they took as long as you, I fired 'em. I read in the paper the other day about how they're gonna build a shopping center inside the mall. Like I was saying, for really good fishing, you gotta hit the ocean. Land your own chicken of the sea. My wife and I have an agreement. I don't tell her how to cook and she don't tell me nothing. Back in my younger days, I was a heck of a ball player. Course, I didn't make what they make now. Don't think THEY should. Have you noticed how the chairs in the theaters are getting narrower. Same with airplanes. I can't wait to see the expression on your face when I beat you...assuming you ever start playing. On the news the other night I heard they were finally able to ... well, play a card and I'll finish. I see that twinkle in your eye. You're planning something, aren't ya? Better watch out! I know all the tricks. Blast it! Why don't ya just DO something. Anything. I don't care. I'm that bored. I haven't the faintest idea what's taking you so long. I bet you don't have a clue, either. Look, why don't Hillary and I go play some cribbage while you decide what you're gonna do. I think I'll take that one. That looks like something I could use. That's one of 'em I've been looking form Well, good enough. I'll take that. Nothing I can use. I get from the deck. That's of no use to me! You don't believe in giving good cards, do you? Nah, I'll go with the stock. Let's see. I can get rid of this one. I don't need this one. Which one....okay, I'll toss you. I'll throw this one away. I don't think you can use it. Well, heck! I didn't want any points. You slipped me some, didn't ya? Alright, you got me. You don't have to laugh, you know. So what if I took it? Keeps you guys from taking 'em all. Well, heck! I wasn't supposed to keep her! You knuckleheads didn't let me sluff her! You know I had her all along, didn't ya? I knew I was in trouble when I first saw her. I call her Slipper Ann....along with OTHER things. Thanks you .... Slip old Annie on me, will you? Blast it! I wasn't expecting to get stuck with Annie. Annie, you no good old biddie! I'm gonna deal. Let's see. I think it's my deal. Okay, now I get the deal. Maybe I can get some GOOD cards. Finally we got someone qualified to deal. Yup! I win again! Hey, I thought you knew how to play this game. Well, lookee here! %s point%s. I win again. You can't mess with the old one. I know all the tricks. Yet another lesson for you. I win with %s point%s! Okay, now I'll make some more points with these Just a little meld here and I'll have even more points. I'll lay these guys down. That way, you can't hurt me with 'em. Watch out, people. I'm gonna meld me some. I can spec right here. Okay, I'll spec this one. Let's see. Yeah, this'll spec. Now I can spec on this. I can add to this. Hey! Look! Even more! I'll add these. A little more never hurt nobody. I'm gonna go out now. Watch out! The old master is going out. Enough of this! I'm going out. I'm going out so count 'em up. I think I'll pull from here. This looks like a good place to get from. Okay! I'll just take from ..... Good enough. This'll do me fine. Can't use any of those so I'll take from the stock. Nah!...I'll pull from the stock instead. Can't get from the discard so I'll go to the stock. I'll take from the deck. Looks like I start. I'm the guy who starts this time. I'll start when I'm good and ready, and not any sooner, ok? You know, the sooner I start this, the sooner I win. Looks like I start. I'm the guy who starts this time. I'll start when I'm good and ready, and not any sooner, ok? You know, the sooner I start this, the sooner I win. My turn. My turn. My turn. My turn. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I must cover that Red Trey. I must cover that Red Trey. I must cover that Red Trey. I must cover that Red Trey. I'm laying down a red trey. I'm laying down a red trey. I'm laying down a red trey. I'm laying down a red trey. I have a canasta here. I have a canasta here. I have a canasta here. I have a canasta here. The deck is frozen. The deck is frozen. The deck is frozen. The deck is frozen. I'll play this. I'll play this. I'll play this. I'll play this. I name %s as the new suit. I name %s as the new suit. I name %s as the new suit. I name %s as the new suit. %s are wild. %s are wild. %s are wild. %s are wild. I have %s point%s. I have %s point%s. I have %s point%s. I have %s point%s. I must draw a card. I must draw a card. I must draw a card. I must draw a card. I must draw another card. I must draw another card. I must draw another card. I must draw another card. I still have to draw a card. I still have to draw a card. I still have to draw a card. I still have to draw a card. %s, you have to draw two cards. %s, you have to draw two cards. %s, you have to draw two cards. %s, you have to draw two cards. I must pass. I must pass. I must pass. I must pass. I have the least amount of cards. I have the least amount of cards. I have the least amount of cards. I have the least amount of cards.    