     Not getting an opportunity to be with Robbie again was probably one of
 the most frustrating things that happened to me as I was discovering my own
 sexuality.  The second was the decidedly mysterious disappearance of the
 electric vibrator and the penis shaped dildo from under my parents' bed.  As
 already mentioned, I looked the house over for them.  Wherever they were, I
 was unable to find them.
     Once, when I was in a Sears store, I saw a vibrator very similar to the
the one that was under the bed.  The attachments were similar, but not exactly
the same.  I considered taking some money out of my savings account and
springing for the $14.95 plus tax.  It was the fear of embarassment that kept
me from going ahead with it.  I just knew that I would get that "knowing" look
from the sales clerk.  It never dawned on me that a vibrator was really
untilized for things other than sexual release.  After I moved away from home,
I finallt bought one -- by mail order.  Much to my surprise and delight, the
thing came with a catalog full of other goodies, but what caught my eye
immediately was the big pink penis-shaped dildo.  Needless to say , I ordered
it, as well as a 9" white plastic model.
     It's just that it was particularly tough in the early days after my
experience with the vibrators.  Robbie had only succeeded in enhancing my
appetite for sex.  It was not long before I had actually determined that I was
an irrepressible sexual being.  Furthermore, it seemed impossible to escape
the mind set that came with that realization.  Oh, I don't believe I was ever
really as much obsessed by sex as I was impressed by it.  I had just seemed to
developed an appetite for the feelings th at I had so recently discovered.  As
to obsession, I left that to my feelings for the only guy in my life up to
that time -- Robbie.  I wanted him to do "it" to me so badly that I would be
extremely uncomfortable anytime he was around.  It's just that we were never
alone.  He would look at me sometimes and smile and I took it as a promise
that we shared special feelings that would one day be consummated in the
ultimate sexual coupling.
     By Thanksgiving, I had finally given in to my blossoming urges and
attempted several times to masturbate to climax with only my hand as a
vehicle.  It turned out not to be an easy task.  Strange, but I've never
really discussed that with any other girls.   wonder if they had the same
difficulty.  The problem was one of
time.   Usually I would be too sore to continue after fifteen or twenty
minutes of trying to reach an orgasm.  The first time I actually achieved one
with my fingers, I was so exhausted that the pleasure was so fleeting that if
I had never had an orgasm before, I might not even have recognized it.
     The breakthrough came one night as I was getting ready for bed.  I
noticed a jar of vaseline in the medicine chest.  I had been using it to keep
my lips moist at night because they were chapping so badly.  I hated the taste
of it, but I hated the pain of chapped lips worse, not to mention how they
looked at school.  While I was putting it on my lips, I remembered that the
books I had found under the bed had mentioned lubrication to avoid irritation.
I rubbed the greasy stuff between two fingers and smiled at myself in the
mirror.
     "Lubrication to avoid irritation."  It rhymed.  "Lubrication to avoid
irritation," I said over and over as I walked quickly to my room, vaseline jar
in hands.  "Lubrication to avoid irritation."  I was actually putting the
words to a tune.
     I shut my door and crawled into bed.  The jar, I slipped under the covers
with me.  Unscrewing the lid, I quickly dipped two fingers into the goop and
pulled out a gob of petroleum jelly big enough to grease a tank.  The only
problem was how I would get it to the target through my baby doll pajama
bottoms.  With the vaseline on my right fingertips, I stood up and used my
left hand to work my bottoms all the way off.  I picked them up and pushed
them under my pillow.  I knew it wouldn't do f or Mom to walk in and see them
on the floor.
     Jumping back in bed and getting under the covers, I pulled my knees up
and made a tent over my lower body as my legs spread apart.  I placed the
vaseline over my pussy and pushed inward with my fingertips.  All the
lubrication made it too easy as my middle and ring fingers sank all the way
in.  Immediately I knew that I had used too much of the jelly.  Unable to
reach the box of Kleenex on my dresser, I had to get out of bed and walk with
my legs spread apart to keep from smearing it all over my legs.  Returning to
my bed, I almost lost my footing as my bare foot found a large blob of
vaseline that had refused to make the trip.
     As I started to try to wipe it off the hardwood floor rug, a voice just
 ouside my bedroom door sounded, "Cindy?  Are you in bed yet?"  Diving for the
 bed, I barely it under the covers, bare-assed and holding a jar of vaseline
 and box of kleenex, as the door opened.  Mom walked in without turning on the
 light and walked over to my bed and sat down beside me.  She just barely
 missed putting her foot in the vaseline on the floor.  I squeezed my eyes
 shut until I was certain she had not found it.  I have no idea of what I
 would have told her.  As she sat there, she pulled the blanket and sheet up
 under my chin and literally "tucked me in," something she hadn't done in a
 while.
     "Who's Danny," she asked.  There was a conspiratorial tone in her voice.
     I had to think for a minute, "Danny Parker?" I asked.
     "Yes, that was his name.  Who is he, a boyfriend?"  I could hear the
     smile in her voice.
     "Ah, Mom, I don't have a boyfriend." I said.
     "What about Robbie?  Don't think I haven't seen the way you two look at
     each other."
     I was glad she souldn't see the color in my cheeks.  "Robbie's just a
     good friend,"  I pictured his head between my legs.  My voice was hollow
     as I continued, "Why did you ask about Danny."
     Mom sighed, "I supposed I flubbed it.  He called before you came home
     this afternoon and wanted you to call him.  I forgot all about it until
     just now.  It's 10:00.  Do you want to try to call him now?"
     When she started to draw the covers down, I almost snatched them from her
     hands in order to get them up to my neck, "I-it's probably too late.  I
     better see him at school tomorrow.  Besides, I'm too tired."
     "Well, O.K., young lady.  If you're sure."
     I wasn't sure.  I had no idea what Danny Parker would want to talk to me
     about, and now I would have to go to sleep wondering.  I could feel the
     vaseline as it had warmed up in my crotch and was beginning to run just a
     little.
     Mom was walking out of the room as she turned and said, "Good night,
     honey."
     "g'nite, Mom."
     I knew I couldn't wait.  Grabbing a handful of the tissues, I wiped away
 the vaseline as well as I could.  On my knees on the floor, I tried to remove
 all that was there.  I got most of it with the kleenex, but the spot was
 still very slick with the residue.  Retrieving my pajama bottoms from under
 my pillow, I pulled them on and walked out of room to the telephone table in
 the hallway.  As I sat down, my mother leaned out of the kitchen and looked
 down the hallway at me.  Before she could say anything, I explained, "Changed
 my mind.  Did he leave a number?"
     "It's on the pad."  She chuckled and sang, "Cindy's got a boyfriend,
Cindy's got a boyfriend."  Mom had begun to act a little strange especially
when the subject of boys and me would come it.  I didn't understand back then,
but now I suspect that she was wondering if I had other preferences.  If it's
true that she felt that way, I would have been offended at her for doing so.
Now, I just think it's funny.
     "Mom," I snapped, "I do not have a boyfriend."
     She just laughed.  I remember being surprised in a very puzzled sense
that she actually seemed pleased that a guy had called.  Surprising also was
that she had been "noticing" anything at all about Robbie and me.  I thought
we had been playing it "close to the vest" as my Dad always said.
     "Hello."
     "Mrs. Parker, is Robbie...I mean, is Danny there?"
     "Yes he is.  Is this Cindy?"  she asked.
     "Yes, mam.  My mother said he wanted me to call him."
     "He told me you would probably call.  Just a minute, I'll go out and get
     him."
     "Go out?" I thought, "At 10:30 at night."
     "Cindy?"  Danny was panting.  "Just a sec while I catch my breath."
     Silence.
     "Danny?"  I queried.  Still only silence.
     "O.K., I'm back.  I had to climb the tree out back to get the cat down.
     That stupid feline gets stuck up there at least twice a week.  I think
     she does it on purpose," he laughed.
     Danny was one of the co-captains of the high school football team but I
had no idea why he would be calling me.  We didn't even go to the same school.
I was still stuck over at the South High. It was really inconvenient and
confusing.
     Danny continued, "The reason I asked for you to call me back was so I
could ask you if you'd like to go to the Christmas Dance with me next month if
you don't already have a date."
     I was stunned.
     "Cindy?  You still there?"
     "Yeah," my mouth hanging open, "I mean yes, I'm still here."
     He paused.  "Well, how about it?  Would you go with me."
     "Y-yes.  I-I'd love to," I stumbled, not knowing how to react.  Reaching
     way down inside myself I picked a little reserve bravery, "Yes, that
     would be just fine."
     "Great.  I'll call you again and we'll get all the details worked out,
     o.k.?"
     "Sure," I said brightly, "just call anytime."
     "O.K.," he affirmed, "Bye now."
     "Bye," then quickly, "see ya."  But I don't think he heard it because the
     phone clicked as I had barely finished.
     I was in a daze.  The only boys I had dated had been either my same age
 or even a little younger.  Most of them were goofs who just bunched up with
 other boys at whatever event we were attending while all the girls got
 together to talk about the goofs we were with.  Wow!  At last I had a real,
 honest to goodness date.  And then it hit me, "...if Mom and Dad will let
 me...Oh, god, please let them say yes."
     "Well, what did Larry have to say," Mom asked as she walked down the
hallway sipping a cup of cocoa.  Her smile was just too knowing.
     I swallowed.  "He wants me to go with him to the Christmas dance next
month.  May I, Mom,...please."
     "What did you tell him?" Her expression became somewhat stern.
     "I told him yes," I said, waiting for the axe to fall.  "Mom, ...
     please?"
     "Well, young lady," I hope you have something decent to wear to a bash
     like that.
     I squealed with delight, "Oh, Mom.  Thanks.  Thank you," I grabbed her
     and hugged her around the waist, "I love you."
     She was laughing now, "I told Larry that you would probably say yes.  I
appreciate a young man who respects a girl enough to ask her parents their
permission for him to ask her out."  She put an arm around me and started
walking me to my bedroom .
     I thought, "Oh no, the vaseline and the Kleenex on my bed."
     "Mom, I'm too excited to go to bed right now.  Could I have a cup of
     cocoa with you?"
     She glanced at her watch.  "It's awfully late.  Tell you what.  You get
     in bed and I'll bring a cup to you."  Wheeeww.
     By the time she brought it, I had abolished all the incriminating
     evidence.  "Mom," I said, "I don't need a new dress or anything.  I can
     wear the one that I wore to that last dance."
     Setting the cup and saucer on my nightstand, she turned and patted my
shoulder, "You won't have to.  Remember that other dress we looked at...the
strapless one?"  I nodded open mouthed.  "I was at the boutique a couple of
weeks ago and they had one like it, only just a little more conservative and
much more appropriate for the season.  So I went ahead bought it for you.  I
had intended for you to wear it to our annual bazaar and was keeping it as a
surprise.  But I think you can have it for the Christmas Dance.  Besides, I
think you have enough up front to give a strapless gown  a little more to hold
on to now."
     I squealed again, jumping up on my knees on the mattress and hugging her
again.  "You're the best Mom in the whole world."
     "I know," she smiled as she walked to the door.  Turning as she was
closing the door, "Go to sleep."  And she was gone.  Mom was a real jewel.
She belonged to the ladies group at the Junior Jaycees.  They had a big
charity bazaar and dance ever y year in early December.  For the past couple
of years I had been involved with helping out in the booths.  This would be my
first year for the dance.  No one had called to invite me to that one yet.  I
had been trying to get up enough nerve to ask Robbie, but had not been able to
overcome my reluctance to "chase" him.
     I fell back onto my pillow, bouncing on the mattress.  I was ecstatic.
Me, a South higher out on a date with the co-captain of the "almost-state-
champs" football team.  Sue, Robbie's sister and also my best friend, would be
positively green. I tried to picture Larry in my mind as I lay looking at the
ceiling.  It was difficult getting a picture with the light on.  I raised up
on one elbow to turn off the lamp on my nightstand.  Althought the cocoa had
been a ruse, I took a couple of quik gulps and turned off the light.     In
the darkness the picture of Larry Parker began to form in my mind.  I just lay
there and looked at him.  When his imaginary form bent to kiss me, I closed my
eyes and let my lips touch the air.  Since it was all imaginary, I let him
begin to nibble at my neck and lick my ear.  My hand was his as he reached for
my breast and began to stroke it through my pajama top.  Then I led his
phantom fingers travel up under the garment so he could twist and pull at my
still immature nipples until they stood as proudly as they could.
     When I led his hand under the waistband of my bottoms, the residual
 vaseline was assurance that there was no obstacle to the progress of what I
 imagined.  His/my fingers entered the slick opening effortlessly even though
 I was still very tight.  As my imaginary lover was now lying naked over my
 body, positioning himself over me, between my legs.  As if outside my own
 body, I watched as he made that move under the sheet just like in the VCR
 movie.  My two fingers sank their full length into my ... my ... "love nest."
     As my hand pumped his knuckled penis in and out of my pussy, I began to
 lift my hips to meet each thrust.  Although I had my fingers there in proxy,
 the picture I was imagining showed my arms wrapping around his broad
 shoulders as I kissed him.  I never knew Larry's shoulders were that broad.
 My tongue came out from between my lips and the open air around me was his
 mouth that I entered with it.  I moaned as the pumping in and out became more
 intense.  I knew that I was going to make it th is time.  "Why Larry, you're
 doing a really great job," my imaginary voice said.
     Then the picture changed unexpectedly.  Thorough my closed eyelids, Larry
 was no longer there.  In his place was an amazingly real picture of Robbie as
 he writhed over my body.  I opened my thighs even wider to accomodate him as
 my fingers began to pull and roll my clitoris.  He thrust again and my
 fingers went fully into my opening.  He pulled back and the amazing tool
 pinched and pulled at my clitoris, and then stayed there and rubbed and
 rolled it more and more, until a vocalized groan left my lungs.  The heat
 that signaled my release shot through me.
     Wanting to feel my orgasm completely, I kept a thumb and forefinger on my
clitoris and sent my middle finger from my other hand into my pulsating
opening.  It felt as if a ring or band of muscles were gripping and releasing
my finger.  This was the first time I had had a finger fully imbedded during
an orgasm.  I had not known it was like that.  I let myself be released in a
depth of sweetness and my imaginary Robbie finally lay still.  I withdrew my
fingers and let them move over the mound s of my breasts for several minutes,
until sleep claimed me in the midst of my exhaustion.
     The buzzing alarm brought me instantly awake.  I lay on my side, my
pajama top pushed up over my breasts.  I reached for the snooze button, but
the five minute reprieve it allowed was not needed.  I felt absolutely alive.
It wasn't ever going t o be the same after what happened last night.  Not only
had I reached a full blown orgasm all by myself, I had a date...a real date.
     It's a good thing that mastubation can't really make you blind as in the
 old folks' warnings.  I indulged myself quit often after that.  Sometimes it
 was Larry and sometimes Robbie.  Robbie was always better.  I supposed that
 it was because that we had really done some things together and Larry and I
 had never even held hands.
     After I told Sue about my date though, I noticed a change in Robbie.
 Although we were still friendly enough, there was a distance between us.
 When we weren't talking, he seemed somewhat distracted.  And sometimes I
 would catch him just staring at me.  He would look away as soon as my eyes
 would meet his, but there seemed to be an interminable sadness behind his
 gaze.  It really bothered me.  It had been about five weeks since that
 weekend, and If Robbie had approached me anytime since then and made any
 advance at all, I would have dropped my pants and spread my legs for him then
 and there.
     But he didn't approach me, and for some reason, I felt it was his place
to make the first move.  But as time wore on, and the bazaar was only two
weeks away, I became more and more concerned until I was miserable.  Robbie
didn't know it, but I had been making love to him almost every night.  I
wondered if he had the same thoughts about me.  After all, he had said that I
was his girl.
     Fianally, I was so upset and worried by the way he had been acting that I
decided that it would have to be me that took the initiative.  His family had
come over for dinner on evening in late November.  The old folks were gathered
in our rec room playing canasta.  Robbie, Sue and I were watching Television
when Sue excused herself to go to the restroom.  I had finally decided to ask
him to the bazaar dance.
     "Robbie?" I said, causing his head to turn toward me.  Before I could
mention the bazaar, I saw something in his eyes that approximated pain.
Intead I asked, "Robbie, is something wrong?"
     I could tell he was not being honest with me when he said that nothing
was wrong as far as he was concerned.  He asked, "Why do you ask?"
     "I just thought that we were sort of...well, you know, after that day
      here at the house."  I was extremely uncomfortable with the
      conversation, but I added softly, "You said I was your girl.  It's just
      that you haven't acted much like it." Without a moment's hesitation
      Robbie shot back, "Is that why you're going to the Christmas dance with
      Larry Parker?...Because you're MY girl?"  His gaze was hard and hurtful.
     "It doesn't mean I'm Larry Parker's girl.  I-I didn't even think about
that."  I was at a loss, and then, "I'll call him and tell him I can't go.
I'll go with you."
     His eyes burned right through me as he said flatly, "I'm going with
Diane."  With that he got up and walked from the room.  "Mom...Dad, I've got
some things to do at home.  Thanks for the great dinner Mrs. Marshall."
     "You're welcome, Robbie.  Come back anytime," my mother called out after
him as he was up the stairs and gone.  I heard the front door shut, or should
I say slam?  No one else in the rec room seemed to notice.
     It was all I could do to keep from bursting into tears.  I clenched my
teeth and just stared at the TV.
     "Where's Robbie?" Sue asked as she came back into the room.
     "He went home," I said without expression.
     I was glad when they finally left.  In my room alone that night, I tried
to make love to my conjured image of Larry, but eventually gave in to a sweet
episode with Robbie that ended in an orgasm which faded into a picture of his
face buried in Diane Contento's blond pussy.  I the midst of my misery, I
turned her pubic hair to a mousy brown to match the color in the roots of her
bleached hair.  Not in the least consoled, I wept uncontrollably until I fell
asleep.
     The day before the big Christmas dance, I came down with the flu and had
to cancel.  Robbie and Diane had a great time I was told and she was wearing
his classring when classes resumed after New Years.  I never heard from Larry
Parker again.  Al though I was terribly hurt, I still fantasized about Robbie
for a while, but soon I found out that my mind did better to dwell on other
things.  My secret sex life slowed down and I turned my energies to my
acedemic pursuits.
     Robbie and I avoided each other.  We lived as if the other was neither
friend nor enemy.  To one another we had become "non-persons."  I finally let
him go the night I watched him from my bedroom window as he was dressed in a
white tuxedo, leaving to go to the Senior Prom.  Everyone who was counting
said that was the night that Robbie made Diane Contento pregnant.
     If I ever loved anyone, I loved Robbie.  I would have done anything to
 please him.  I thought I would never get over him.  Sitting alone in my room,
 looking out the window across the darkened lawn, I vowed a vow of celibacy.
 My vow was rendered void by his subsequent marriage to Diane.  I mean, how
 miserable is a person supposed to be?  God, how I loved him.
     I suppose it was in my sophomore year that I decided that I wanted to
remain a virgin in the sense that I had not yet had, nor wished to have sexual
intercourse with a male of the species.  In other words, I made up my mind
that I was not going to get laid.  But as Spock so plainly stated it to Lt.
Savic, "For everything, there is a first time."
     When I think about my "first time," my emotions almost get away from me.
 The hurt and anger have subsided over the intervening years, but I still seek
 to cope fully with it.  His name was Jeff, and I really had a thing for him.
 In retrospect, I suppose a lot of negative feelings that I have yet to
 conquer is directed at myself.
     Anyway. the resolve regarding "virginity" was swallowed up in the name of
 "love."  My naivite was such that I still find it unbelievable to this day.
 When I think of how stupid I was to fall for it, I feel betrayed, embarrassed
 and cheated, not only by him, but by my own lack of self-control.
     Not that I thought myself innocent, but rather, I had redeemed my inner
"good girl" values.  Sexual intercourse was reserved for marriage.  There were
no exceptions.
     I began dating fairly regulaly after the end of my freshman year.  I was
pleasantly surprised at my new found popularity with the opposite sex.
Frankly, I dated any well-mannered decent sort who asked me out.  I had no
prejudices about how a gu y was supposed to look.  So I had my share of short,
tall, skinny, fat and so forth.  Of course, Mom and Dad had to deliver a stamp
of approval.  Sometimes my mother would look at me questioningly when she saw
a one she felt was particularly unattrac tive.  I just told her that I hadn't
wanted to hurt the guys feelings by turning him down.
     An evening out for me typically began when the guy I was going out with
 would come to my home to pick me up.  They had to wait in the living room for
 me while my father gave them the eye.  After the guy was properly impressed
 we'd go to a movie, party, or whatever.  Then he'd drop me off at my front
 door.  Sometimes there would be a goodnight kiss.  I must admit that
 sometimes I did become a little prejudiced about kissing the ones my Mom held
 in question as to their looks.  That was the summer I turned 18.
     As my seinor year of high school got underway, I was elected to the
Student Council and was selected as a varsity cheerleader.  I dated quite
often, mostly on weekends until the near the end of the school year.  I never
gave away more than a prim and proper kiss.  By Spring, however, I had become
a little more selective about my dates.  I had sworn off geeks for good, and
found that I seemed to enjoy it more when the other girls were interested in
who I was seeing.
     Then, along came Kevin.  Kevin was a year behind me but the co-captain
and a forward on our high school basketball team.  Our first date was to his
Junior Prom.  By the time he got me home that night, I was madly in love.  We
didn't have any formal agreement or anything, just an unspoken understanding
that we were now an official item.  I stopped dating anyone else, he did the
same, and "that was that" as they say.
     The guys I dated before Kevin would occasionally get a little too bold
and sometimes try to cop a little feel, but when the hands began to rove, I
brought it to a screeching halt just by very firmly telling them to stop.
Kevin and I dated a lot, but didn't get so far along the heavy breathing
routine that we couldn't pull in the reins.  Sometimes he would stay a while
when he brought me home and we would sit in the living room and play a little
smacky-mouth and smash-face in the dim light .  My dad and mom were usually
upstairs in bed.
     We had been dating a year when Kevin took the initiative to place a hand
over one of my breasts.  I was wearing a very bulky ski sweater.  It was the
middle of March, but still pretty cold for our part of the country.  We didn't
have outdoor ska ting because it was never really cold enough except maybe the
middle of February.  But on that particular night, he had just brought me home
from an indoor rink at the mall.
     As we sat close to each other on the couch in the rec room, I could
hardly believe it when I felt his palm press at me through the material.  I
had to look down to make sure it was what I thought it was.  All I did was
slide my hand between his hand and mine, and he made a strategic withdrawal.
For the next month or so, our necking began to get somewhat more frenzied and
the petting a little bolder.
     Is wasn't too long before I permitted him extra liberties that I thought
I could control.  I began letting his hand slide up under whatever top I was
wearing to cup my bra covered breast.  The unwritten, unspoken rule was "no
petting below the waist."  After a few of these above-the-waist sessions, I
coutiosly allowed him an additional liberty.  He found that I would permit the
bra to be unhooked so he could feel the natural me.  During all this, we would
kiss until our faces were wet with perspiration and saliva, and just about to
fall off.
     In mid-May, on the night of the Senior prom, we were invited to a mid-
night breakfast party thrown for the basketball team at their coach's home.
The coach was a real nice guy and had gone all out to do something nice for
his graduating seniors .  We played pool, had some omelets, bacon, hotcakes
and lots of other goodies.  Then we danced some more until everyone was just
sitting around at 2:30 a.m. staring at each other.  But after midnight there
is only so much partying you can do, so we got together with Woody and Beth
and headed for the bowling lane.  A big sign on the front door said, "CLOSED
FOR THE PROM!"  The owner had had some trouble from some kids at another
school on their Prom night, so we supposed he just decided he had h ad it.
Normally, it was open 24hours a day except from Midnight Saturday until early
morning league time on Monday.  So instead of going bowling, and since our
parents were not expecting us until about dawn, we just sat there in the car
for a while a nd talked.  Soon Beth and Woody were no longer in the
conversation and the souds of their kisses and breathing began to dominate.
     Kevin and I looked at each other.  He shrugged his shoulders and I did
the same.  He pulled me closer to him and we played, "if you can't beat'em,
join'em."  I'll have to say that Kevin was the best kisser I had ever known,
not that I had known that many, but I was impressed.  Mom had been extra
generous when she brought out her mink wrap for me to wear before Kevin picked
me up.  So, I unclipped the chain that secured it and smoothed it over the
back of the seat beside me.  When I turned t oward Kevin, he just absorbed me
into the circle of his arms.
     I let my head lean on his shoulder and he bent his neck so that his lips
 could cover mine.  When I finally came up for breath, he let his lips latch
 onto my left earlobe.  That gave him a mouthful of Mom's diamond cluster ear
 rings.  Neither Mom nor I had ever had our ears pierced, so these were
 actually the clip-on type.  Kevin pulled at the piece of Jewelry until he had
 it in his mouth.  He spit it into his hand and we both laughed.  I stopped
 laughing when his tongue went into my ear can al and licked wetly and noisily
 there.  With his left hand came up to remove the one from my right ear, I
 dropped my hands to receive both earrings in my hands.
     I turned toward him to reach for his coat pocket as his lips met mine
again.  My right hand was placing the earrings into his pocket when his left
hand cupped my right breast.  But Kevin was not going to be satisfied with
feeling my gown.  Espec ially when he had had the liberty of feeling them "in
the flesh" so to speak.  As I mentioned earlier, the gown was strapless.  I
was wearing no bra since the dress itself had a built-in underwire bra.  All
he could manage at first was to work his fi ngers into the top and tickle my
nipples.  All the while, I had my right hand in his coat pocket and my left
hand was sort of pinned between us.
     Kevin tried to fold the front of the gown downward, but the underwiring
and the way it cinched my torso, made it impossible.  The gown zipped in the
back just where a bra strap would be if I had one.  Kevin found it with his
free hand and eased it down.  The zipper itself went past the waistline about
eight inches down into the skirt portion.  I let him slide the zipper as far
as my waist, but when he tried to go further, I leaned hard against his harm,
pinning it to the back of the seat.  He got the message.
     With the zipper open, he was able to pull the top away and down.  There
was enough light from the tall lamps in the parking lot that Kevin was able to
actually see my breasts for the first time.  Also he had never had such free
access to my breasts.  This was the first time he had them totally uncovered.
I had never allowed him to remove any of my clothing or even unbutton a
blouse.  He aways had to work his way there without the luxury of anything
more than unhooking my bra under my top.  He never even mentioned taking
anything off.
     On that night, however, with my breasts exposed in the dim light, his
lips left mine and trailed down my neck to where my shoulder joins it, a
maneuver he had duplicated many times.  But when he lifted his mouth from my
neck, instead of going back up to my lips as he always had done before, he
went down.  Holding one of my tits, he pulled at it and met it with his open
mouth.  I had not felt anything that sensual since Robbie had done the same
thing.  Only it wasn't Robbie, it was Kevin who bowed his head to suckle on my
tender and sensitive breast.
     Holding my right breast with his left hand, he let his head bob and twist
as he paid homage to my left nipple.  Then, still squeezing with his left
hand, he shifted his head to taste the other one.  It was as if he would
squeeze the base of my b oob and let it swell into his mouth.  Then he would
take the tip of his tongue and drive my nipple deep into my flesh.  I squirmed
and let my hands move over his neck and ran my fingers through his hair.  The
only sound I was making was , "MMmmmmmmmm mmm..."  I would have been terribly
embarrassed if Beth and  Woody had known what was going on.  All I could hear
coming from the backseat was the smacking and slurping of a multitude of
sloppy, wet kisses.
     As Kevin's mouth displaced his left hand, his left hand dropped to my lap
 and began to rub my right thigh through the dress stroking from my knee to
 just a few inches from hips.  The dress came to a point just above my knees
 when I was sitting.  For several strokes, his hand stayed on top of the
 material.  Then on one stroke downward to my knee, his hand went beyond  the
 material at the hem of the short dress.  As soon as I felt his palm on my
 nylon clad knee, I knew that things were about to become very different with
 Kevin.  The thought that dominated at that moment was that I was glad I wore
 pantyhose tonight.  I had considered ditching them when we were at the
 coach's house because it was so warm.
     Made brave by my pantyhose, I was not troubled in the least by his left
hand on my right knee.  But when his hand began moving again, it was running
up my thigh under my dress.  I didn't know how to react, so I didn't.  His
hand just rubbed and stroked the thigh up and down, moving a little higher on
about every third trip.  After a bit more of this progression, his hand ran
out of a place to go, stopping dead at my abdominal wall.  The hand was
touching the silky material of my pantyhose.  I had never allowed Kevin any
liberty such as this before.
     I didn't want to call Beth and Woody's attention to this, so I just laid
my head on his right shoulder, holding my breath.  His tongue stabbed between
my lips and circled warily around my tongue.  I let my tongue accept his
invitaion to dance.  His huge palm was gripping my upper thigh, his four
fingers to the ouside and his thumb resting against the crotch of my
pantyhose.  Kevin began to rub his finger up and down the covering over my
pussy.  The pantyhose were very sheer, but the panty part had a cotton crotch.
Under the pantyhose, I wore my skimpiest bikini panties.  Even throught the
layers of cloth, what he was doing felt so good, and it had been so long since
I had been touched like that.  I let out a little, "Ahhhh," and let my thighs
drift apart.
     Taking this as a sign of surrender, Kevin's hand forsook my thigh and
moved to my waist.  His hand made a deft maneuver which sent his fingers to my
hair-covered mound.  I reacted by squeezing my thighs tight to stop his
progress, but the tips o f his fingers were still able to stroke up and down.
I didn't take much of this to make me relax my legs and let them open again.
I decided that as long as he was just touching my hair, it was alright to let
him continue.  My legs relaxed again.  L ooking down, the sight appeared
almost abscene.  My dress bunched between his forearm and my waist, his wrist
strecting the waist of my pantyhose away from my body.
     Shamelessly, I whispered, "Let me..."  I reached up under my dress and
 hooked my pantyhode with my thumbs and began to pull them down.  As I did so,
 I looked over the back of the seat and saw Edith with stripped to the waist.
 Her back was to me and her face was in Woody's lap.  He was obviously
 worrying one of her breasts with one hand and holding a handful of her hair
 with the other helping her to glide her mouth up and down on his cock.  I got
 my pantyhose off one leg and let them just h ang around the other ankle.
 Amazingly, the little bikini panties maintained their integrity and stayed in
 place.
     I put both arms around Kevin's neck and guided his mouth to my breasts
  again.  I moaned at the contact.  I heard Beth giggle and choke at the same
  time.  My intention was to allow Kevin to just touch me below the waist
  without going any further.  With my panties still in place, I felt I could
  control the speed and intensity of the moment.  With my thighs squeezed shut
  again, I allowed him to feel and stroke the crotch of my panties again.
     I knew I had made a mistake when I felt my labia divide and Kevin's
finger pushed the material inside me until my gripping thighs would allow no
further progress.  In spite of my slight resistance, he managed to work a
finger under the elastic a t the crotch of my panties pulling it to one side
enough that his finger was trailing across my wet slit.  Placing on hand on
his wrist, I moved his hand until his fingers were again only on the cloth
that covered my pussy.  I put lips to his ear and whispered so very quietly,
"Kevin, please don't.  We shouldn't."  I drew in a deep breath and let it out
in a sigh, adding, "I love you."
     He pulled back his head and looked at me and said, "I love you too,
Cindy."
     The knowledge that we couldn't "go all the way" right here in the front
seat with Woody and Beth in the backseat, I opened my legs for the guy who
"loved" me.  Kevin tried to get a hand to the waist of my panties, but I just
whispered a firm, "N o," at the same time, pressing my cloth covered crotch
against his hand.  Honestly, I had no concept of a "prick tease."  But now I
wonder that he didn't rape me right then and there.  I just thought if I could
stop, so could he.
     In any case, I could not fault him for his perseverance.  In just a
 little while, Kevin was again using a couple of fingers to pull the crotch of
 my panties undies out of his way again.  I finally felt and allowed him to
 probe at my opening with his finger.  He evidently did not know much about
 female anatomy because he was unable to find his way through my labia.  In
 his quest, however, he succeeded in stimulating my clitoris just enough to
 make me want to take a flash light, put his face under my dress and show him
 where the sensitive spot was.
     Well, I didn't have a flashlight, so I reached under my dress and found
his fingers.  They were much too far to one side, so that all he was
succeeding in doing was to press the lips of my pussy closer together.
Wrapping my hand around two of h is fingers, I moved his hand and guided him
to the proper place.  All I had to do was place his fingers at the botom of my
slit and lead them upward just once.  About halfway up, his fingers began to
penetrate the silky wetness.  I let go of his hand and he let his two digits
sink all the way in.
     When he just stayed there and sort of wiggled his fingers, I knew that
this boy needed a trip under his parents bed to peruse any relevant reading
material they may keep hidden.  In light of his apparent lack of knowhow, I
decided to give him a lesson.  I had no idea of what a slut I looked like to
Kevin as I put an hand around his wrist and whispered, "This way."  I began to
pull and push his wrist so that the two finger glided almost all the way out
and then back in.  After a few strokes, he got the idea so I let go of his
wrist.
     To give him better access, I raised my right foot and propped my high
heel shod foot on the center hump of the floor.  That seemed to drive him
crazy.  He leaned into me and I sort of fell back along the seat.  Pushing
with my foot against the f loor hump, I soon had my head wedged above the
armrest on the door.  Keven never dropped a beat as he slid right along with
me.  I could feel his hard-on through his pants as it pressed my thigh just
above one knee.
     Kevin still had not found the spot that makes me tick, so I sent a hand
 down to help out again.  To my disappointment, he removed his fingers just as
 I got there.  In no way deterred from my goal, I let my fingers hook into my
 pussy and began to rub my clitoris.  Kevin leaned down to catch my tit in his
 mouth again and could feel his hand between us again.  "Good,"  I thought,
 "back to work."
     It wasn't me he was reaching for, however.  Instead, he proceeded to
unzip his pants and pull out his cock.  It came at me instantly, and would
have gone right in the way I was laying open with one leg upraised against the
back of the seat and t he other on the floor, if he hadn't run into my hand.
In self-defense, I grabbed at his dick and held it away from me.
     "No, Kevin.  We can't."  I was desparate.  The last thing I wanted in the
whole world was a baby before I finished high school."
     "Please, Cindy," Kevin pleaded.
     Actually, we both were speaking in some kind of exaggerted desparate
     whispers.
     "NO!" and added for emphasis, "And I mean it!"
     As my hand wrestled to prevent entry, Kevin moaned, and I felt a warm
 liquid splatter along my inner thigh.  Knowing what was happening, I began to
 pump up and down on him until he finished his spasms and let his weight
 collapse on my diminutive frame.  Remember, I was only 4'10" back then.
 Kevin was a 6'4" basketball player.  Our friends even called us Mutt and
 Jeff, after some long-ago comic strip characters.
     There I was, not even close and my date had cum all over my legs.  I
     closed my eyes and said a desparate prayer about Kevin "eating" me, but I
     knew it would never happen that night.  I think he actually fell asleep
     right there on top of me.  "WHAP!!!  Get off me!" I heard Beth scream.
     This brough both of us back to the present, scrambling to get our clothes
     back to normal.  When we looked in the back seat, there was Beth with her
     panties hanging off one ankle and Woody with the imp rint of her hand was
     still lit on his reddened cheek.
     "Gosh, Beth, I'm sorry."
     Then both of them became aware of us staring at them.  We didn't know
 what it was all about, but we knew the date was over.  Kevin started up the
 car and we dropped Beth off.  She just jumped out and told Woody that she
 knew the way to the front door.  Next we let Woody out, then drove to my home
 in almost complete silence.  Kevin walked me to the door and I remembered
 that I was unzipped.  We both giggled as he pulled the zipper up for me.  I
 was almost 4:00a.m., so I didn't invite him in, but I tiptoed and he bent
 down for our goodnight kiss.
     I found out the next day what happened in the back seat.  Woody had
brought a pack of rubbers along and wanted to make it with Beth.  She told
Woody that he could go down on her and she on him, but that she didn't do the
real thing yet.  But whe n her panties were down and his fly opened, he tried
to do the "real thing" that she doesn't do yet.  I told her I was sorry
because I knew she liked him a lot.  I didn't tell her I saw her giving Woody
head.  She told me not to worry because he'd be back.  Before she hung up the
phone she said, "See, he's at the front door now."
     I didn't hear from Kevin on either Saturday or Sunday.  On Monday he told
me how much he liked me and how he didn't want to tie me down when he went
away to Wake Forest.   He said he was afraid that I would feel trapped by our
relationship.  I s wallowed what he had to say, smiled brightly and agreed
that he was just thinking of my interests in the whole matter.  He drove me
home and I went upstairs to my bedroom, fell face down on my bed and cried my
eyes out.  It dawned on me then that my overt promiscuity in the parking lot
may have scared him off.  I immediately began making vows again.
     I was still in shock when Jeff, a teammate of Kevin's asked me out for
the next weekend.  I turned him down with no explanation three weeks in a row.
Then I finally agreed to go out with him.  He was the only guy who ever came
back after I said no to a date.  The real reason I said yes was that I hoped
to make Kevin jealous.  So in reality, I was ready to be psyched, and although
I don't like to admit it, that's exactly what happened.
     Jeff and I began seeing each other on a regular basis after school was
 out for the summer.  Normally we dated about two nights a week.  In July,
 Jeff called and invited me to go to the lake with him and two other couples
 from school.  Jeff drove his car and one couple rode in the back.  The other
 couple who turned out to be Beth and Woody were in another car.
     We got an early start and were at the lake by 9:00A.M. We had planned to
water ski, cook out, swim and just have a grand time.  When  we arrived at
the lake, we were pleased to see that almost all of the wooded man-made
islands were vacant.  Usually, you have to have reservations well in advance
but we had no trouble getting one for the rest of the day.  The park ranger
just told us that if it g ot crowded around here, we would probably have
company before the day was over.  Generally, Tuesday is a slow day at the
lake.
     Each of the dozen or so islands was equipped with picnic tables and
grills.  Some had covered pavillions, but the ranger wouldn't let a party of
only six take a pavillion.  So we checked out a rental boat from the dock,
loaded our picnic gear an d went to the island to stake our claim.
     On the island, the guys opened the cooler and handed out the beer.  I
declined and opted for a coke.  This was the first time I had known of Jeff
drinking any king of alcohol.  I suppose I was just a little disappointed.
Kevin had been,like me, a tea-totaler.
     I tried to do some water skiing but my thigh had never forgiven me for
its earlier insult, so I had to leave the skiing to the others.  Jeff said he
didn't want to ski without me, so he joined me on the shore on a blanket.
When the others broug ht the boat in Bobby and Deanna copied Jeff and me and
laid out on a blanket.  Beth and Woody went to the other side of the island
out of our sight.
     We had not been concerned about the few clouds in the sky.  the weather
report called for a bright sunny day.  Nevertheless, a small shower came up
and we had no cover except trees.   Instead of running for the trees, Bobby
and Deanna, the coupl e who rode with us, pulled the blanket over themselves.
I didn't object when Jeff did the same for us.  This gave us an area of
blanket under us about the size of a twin bed, so we were pretty close.  I was
inside the folded side, by the way.
     There we were all cuddled up against the rain and we could hear Deanna
giggling.  I said, "I wonder what they're doing?"
     "This," Jeff said and he rolled over and kissed me.  I had allowed him
kisses on our previous dates, but nothing else.  There was no objection from
me because I enjoyed it, and I returned his kiss.  When he rolled over, it
pulled me tightly in t he folded side of the blanket so that I was pressed
really close to him.  I honestly couldn't tell if his forearm was sneaking a
feel of my tits or not.  So I pretended he wasn't and let his arm stay between
us.  I figured  that it was alright as lon g as there were no hands involved.
     Jeff was dressed in a loose-fitting bathing suit that came about half
way down his thighs, but I was wearing the skimpiest bikini that my mom had
ever allowed me to buy.  It tied at the sides of my hips and the top tied in
back and also had a neckstrap.  By today's standards, it was conservative for
a bikini.  Still, it showed the tops of my 34B's and I had to keep pulling  at
the bottoms to make sure my ass didn't hang out too much.  The neckstrap hung
down in front as was fashionable for the day.
     "Hey, what are you two doing over there?" Deanna called.
     I just giggled and Jeff said, "We'll never tell."
     "Bobby!  Give that back!" she squealed and giggled again.  I looked out
from under the blanket and saw Bobby's hand holding Deanna's bikini top
straight up in the air, and her hands were trying to grab it.  As I watched,
the struggle stopped.  The bikini top fell to the ground outside their
blanket.  All I could see was their forms squirming under the blanket.  It was
then I realized he was removing her bottom also.  I had a flashback of those
naked bodies under the sheet.  I knew that Bobby would be making that "move."
     This made me really uncomfortable and I know I blushed as I ducked under
the blanket again.  Jeff was soon kissing me again, and I admit that I liked
it.  I knew from the way things were progressing, that it was only a matter of
time until one o f his hands finally cupped one of my breasts, I reached to
pull it away, but as my hand touched his, he whispered, "Just let me hold you
for a minute."  So I let him.
     I rationalized, "He wasn't touching my skin, only my bikini.  After all,
I had let Kevin do as much."
     When his hand pushed up under my bikini top, I intended to stop him, but
 before I could say or do anything, I heard Deanna squeal and giggle again.  I
 couldn't help laughing, myself.  In that instant of inaction on my part, Jeff
 had succeeded in baring my right breast and was pecking it lightly with
 kissed.  My rationalization shrank to, "this is o.k., because I'm not going
 to let him 'go all the way.'  After all," I thought, "I had let Kevin feel
 and suck them."
     By that time, my chief consternation was the old familiar feeling down
between my legs.  Squeezing my thighs tightly together, I tried to supress the
feeling.  The thought of Kevin's hand between my thighs flashed in my mind.
     Jeff had me locked in his arms and my top was completely untied and
laying across my belly.  His hands and mouth were setting me on fire.  I kept
thinking, "I'm not going all the way."  I thought of Deanna, not 10 yards away
with Bobby.  I knew what they were doing, both of them naked under the
blanket.  In my mind's eye, I could see the magic movement of entry and I was
sure that if I peeded out just then, that I would see him on top of her,
moving up and downunder the blanket.  The though t sent a wave of heat through
my body.
     Suddenly, there was a loud clap of thunder and the rain really poured
down.  We could hear Deanna screaming and laughing and saying, "Let's run for
it."  Whatever modesty I still retained made me stay where I was.  As soon as
they were gone, Jeff's hand was on my ass.
     I thought, "Since he's only touching my bathing suit, it's o.k."
     With that thought not yet erased, his hand slipped easily under the soft
 material so that his hand was feeling and squeezing my bare bottom.  I moved
 quickly to pull his hand away, but he was still ahead of me.  He took the
 offending hand off my buttock before I could make him do it.  That's when I
 knew why he did not object to me wanting his hand moved.  The side tie of my
 bikini bottom was open and his hand was on my belly between my navel and my
 pubic area.
     "Please don't, Jeff," I said in as pitiful a voice as I could muster.
     "I promise all I'm going to do is just touch you, Cin," he whispered,
letting his hand leave that area and begin stroking my thigh.  Jeff must have
rubbed ALL the unforbidden areas of my body after that.  He touched my hands,
my face, my hair, my arms, but he did keep on kissing my lips and my breasts
since that was territory already claimed.  Occasionally, he would suck very
hard on a nipple, s ending me soaring with the effect.
     I could feel his cock through his bathing suit and I could tell it was
erect as he was rubbing it against my upper leg.  He was sort of laying half
on and half off me.  When I became uncomfortable, I tried to shift and this
caused one of his leg s to sort of "innocently" drop between my thighs.
Jeff's bathing suit came almost to his knees but as he moved and squirmed
against my pubic mound, he soon had worked the leg of his swimsuit up so that
his bare thigh was pressing my crotch.
     Then came his hand just as I knew it would.  My thighs had been separated
by his right leg, and the hand that rested on top of my thigh just seemingly
slid to the vee made by my thighs.  Although he had never mentioned love, I
think I wanted to assume it because it would make all this that was happening
O.K.  To my surprise, and what I later realized to be a very sly maneuver on
his part, his hand left my pubic area.  Instead, it came to rest on the breast
not occupied by his mouth.
     The thigh that he had resting between my thighs began to press and move
 against my crotch.  As his leg bent, his knee pressed hard at my pubic bone.
 It was like he was going to put his knee inside me.  What he did do was to
 furiously massage my pussy with his kneecap.  I had never heard any of my
 girlfriends talk about this, but it started to really turn me on.
     He did not seem about to stop and I could feel myself climbing to some
peak way up there, closer now, but still out of reach.  All my protestations
had melted.  The hands left my tits, but his lips continued to worry the
little peaks.
     Up to that time, in spite of passion, in spite of my feelings, in spite
of what others were doing, I had no intention of going further than this very
heavy petting.  Furthermore, I almost resolved to stop everything in its
tracks when he did wh at he did next.  I don't know how he managed so quickly
and deftly, but the next thing I knew, the safety of his bathing suit between
us was gone.  I was shocked into a near panic when I discerned that it was no
longer his hairy thigh against me.  In stead it was his abundant pubic hair
pressing against my right outer thigh trapping his manhood against my flesh.
     Gathering what little of that resolve I had left, I said, "Jeff, we
better stop."
     He raised up a little and I could see his face looking down at me even
under the blanket, "O.K.  I don't want to do anything you don't want to do."
Then he said, "God, Cin, you're beautiful."
     I couldn't believe that I had waited until now to actually blush.  But he
was looking down at my body, holding the blanket up so he could see me, an
expression I could not name on his face.  I don't think I had ever felt more
important or apprec iated by anyone other than my family in my life.  This was
the second time that any boy had seen me naked.
     "I just want to hold you for a minute," he said as he laid his head down
on my breasts with one ear covering a nipple.  He slid his left arm under me
and his right arm was draped over my waist.  I brought up one hand and began
to rub his head.  The rain had stopped, but we were soaked inside the blanket.
Our body heat causied a tepid warmth that was actually very pleasant.
     As I rubbed his head, his right hand began to stroke my right side.  I
said, "Don't, that tickles."  He moved his hand from my side and down to my
left leg.  He began rubbing it very lightly and I enjoyed the feeling.  His
head twisted and he ki ssed the ear-warmed nipple and suckled it lightly.  I
felt my emotions stir again.
     Holding my left leg with his right hand, Jeff rolled off me, onto his
 side, pulling me with him, and draping my left leg over his right leg.  Then
 he was kissing my lips again, and I pressed my tongue into his mouth.  My leg
 was lifted under the knee and his hand slid the length of my thigh to my
 pussy.  This time, his fingers began to pull and stroke the hair at the top
 of my mound.  It felt so good and it had been such a long time.  The fingers
 began stroking along the line of my slit...u
p and down, over and over again.  As if he had turned the dials of a
combination lock, the labia opened for him.      Jeff's fingers were suddenly
inside me and I still could have stopped it right there.  No one but Robbie
had ever touched me like th is and, frankly, I was becoming frightened.  Jeff
pulled out his finger and inserted his thumb in the still open gash.  This
inverted digit was pressing its second knuckle against my clitoris and I
melted.  It was the way Robbie had done me when I wa s 14.
     He pushed and pulled in and out of me with his thumb for a couple of
dozen strokes, but I really wasn't counting.  Then he rolls over so that he is
on top of me between my legs.  Knowing that Jeff is finally about to do that
thing that I so desp arately wanted Robbie to do, I want to say no.  It's not
as if there is any question about it.  I know deep inside that all I have to
do is say no and he will stop.  Otherwise, it would be rape, and I knew that
Jeff would never rape me.
     Well it wasn't rape because I had no will to resist in any way.  I did
not know what to do with my hands, so I put my arms around his neck and
pressed my naked up against his.  I will probably never know how much
encouragement he felt from that one move.
     His thumb moved in a circle a few times and then pulled out of me.  He
put his hand on his dick and placed it at where he thought my opening should
be.  He jutted forward and it bounced off perineum.  At least he had found my
pussy with his fing ers.  Even Kevin couldn't do that.  Jeff reached between
us to find my pussy again, and guided himself to the opening, but just wasn't
able find a way in.
     Acting as if I knew what I were doing, and pretending it was a penis-
shaped dildo I put one hand down there to assist.  When It was aligned, he
slid ever so gently into me.  His cock was not real large, not even as big as
Robbie's, but it was a
 beautiful sensation of being stretched.   At last, my first real cock in my
pussy.  The falsley manufactured perception of the precious virginity I had
been saving was taken away forever.
     Jeff was holding himself very still, not moving at all, his hard cock
buried inside me.  I felt a drop of water running into my ass crack, when I
suddenly realized it wasn't water after all.  It was his semen.  I realized
that he must have come immediately upon entering me.  I didn't understand what
was going on.  I remember wondering if this is all there really is to it.
     I shouldn't have been concerned.  Jeff was young and very virile.  I
squinted my eyes and succeeded in squeezing his cock lightly within my vagina.
I don't know if he took it as a cue or a request, but his response was to
begin a slow exit from my cunt.  Before he could push it back in, I reached
between us and wrapped my hand around the shaft.  I could tell that the head
of it was just below my little finger.  My hand fit easily all around it.  I
was so surprised at how small it was compar ed to the dildo or even to Robbie.
I was even more surprised at how well it still filled and stretched my cunt.
     All of a sudden, it dawned on me.  I had felt his seminal fluid running
out of me.  I recalled, "safe."  Fear and realization shot through me as I
looked up at Jeff and asked "Did you use anything?"  I pulled him completely
out of me.
     "What?"
     "I don't want to get pregnant.  Did you use anything."
     "No.  You mean you're not on the pill?"
     "Jeff," I said trying to make my fear sound like exasperation, "Why would
     I be on the pill?  I don't make this a common practice.  This is my first
     time."
     He looked surprised, "No shit?  Damn.. Uh, I didn't know."  The surprise
     turned to concern, "Did I hurt you?  Are you bleeding or anything?"
     I broke down and began to cry in earnest now.  "Yes it hurt."  I don't
     know why I lied.  I rolled over and turned my back to him.
     "God, Cin, I'm sorry."
     "I'll be O.K.," I sobbed.  Shutting him out of my mind, I began to count.
     By the time I did some rapid calculating, I knew then that I probably had
     nothing to worry about this time.  My period was due to start either
     tomorrow or Thursday.  The r
hythm method sure worked for mom.  Whether I was lying to myself or not, I
didn't care right then.  I just needed to feel better about it.  With resolve,
I promised to never let something this stupid happen again.     Satisfied that
all was o.k., I l et him start petting me and rubbing my back.  My
rationalzation was that since he had already cum in me, that it wouldn't
matter if we did it again.  In just a few minutes he was laboring over my
breasts again, a finger probing deeply into my cum-fil led box.  I had any
resolve at all left over from Robbie or Kevin, I just let it melt into
counting days just to be sure, and then with hands on each side of his face, I
pulled his face to me until we could kiss.
     My knees were raised along his sides, making my body a perfect cradle for
his as it lay on mine.  The head of his wet cock, now hard as ever, was
trapped between our bellies.  This time as he slide his body downward to find
my opening, he probed , once...twice...and then sank easily into my cum-
drenched pussy.  Jeff just lay there for a few minutes not even moving his
lower body.  He just kept kissing my face, my eyes, my neck, my lips and his
hands burned trails over my torso and legs.
     I'm sure it was I who finally made the first move.  I raised my feet and
hooked them behind his muscular thighs and levered myself up against him.  I
don't know how I knew to do that.  It just seemed to come naturally.   This
movement drove him even deeper, making him moan with the pleasure.  Then I
alternately clenched and unclenched my exercise-strong cheerleader's thighs
around him until I felt him make his first movement of withdrawal.
     I had never had orgasm with a penis in my vagina.  My only releases had
 been with a vibrator, a dildo, Robbie's fingers and mouth, and my own hand.
 Then Jeff was moving a little more.  He began taking longer strokes, in and
 out of me, but the juices inside kept the friction to a minimum and I was not
 building to a peak like I knew I should.  Then he surprised me by what he
 said.
     "Oh, fuck, Cin...fuck!...Yes, you're so good....Hmmmmm...so good," he
 began as he continued the insertion and withdrawal.  "Oh sweet, Cin... your
 pussy is so tight and sweet....unhgh.. Ahhh.. Yes Cin."  And he just went on
 and on with stuff like that.  The words were not very coherent, but he
 uttered them just the same.
     In any case, these utterances were a real turn-on.  I decided that if I
wanted to get more out of this, I'd have to do my part.  So I began to answer
his thrusts with bumps and grinds of my belly against his.  He held himself
off me by one outst retched arm and carressed me wherever he could reach with
his other hand.
     Letting my hand slide flat on my stomach down past my navel and into the
area where we were joined, my thumb and forefinger circled his cock.  I was
delighted at my discovery.  I could feel my pussy lips climbing follow his
cock outward, clingin g to his shaft as he withdrew, only to be pressed back
in as he pushed forward.  It was just like it had been with my old artificial
friend.
     Releasing him, I let my hand lay flat on my lower belly with fingers
pointed at the juncture of our bodies.  Edging the fingertips forward, I was
able to use a fingertip to poke and prod my clitoris.  This was just the
impetus I had needed.  Jef f caught on to what I was trying to do.  He stopped
thrusting and somehow with his hands cupped under my buttocks, he pulled his
knees under him.  I was careful not to let the blanket covering us fall away.
This new position made me feel like there was a pry bar anchored in the bottom
of my cunt pulling up on my clitoris.  There was sufficient light flooding the
space inder the blanket to allow Jeff to look down and see his cock in me.
     He lifted my ass with his hands again.  Leaning back on his heels, he
 pulled my hips until my bottom rested on his lap, allowing him deeper access,
 but relieving the "pry bar" pressure.  Next he put his thumb into the space
 between his entry way and my love button.  When the thumb started in, the
 additional stretching hurt a little, but I only moaned slightly.  This
 maneuver left his fingers free to scratch my navel and belly.  I thought he
 was going to rub the clitoris with the thumb, but instead he very slowly
 pushed his thumb as far as it would go into my cunt along the top of his
 penis.
     With his thumb fully imbedded along the top ridge of his cock, Jeff began
 to lift his hand upward and away from his body hard so the inside of his
 thumb was pressed firmly against the apex of my opening.  He began to glide
 the thumb back out and then in again.  That did it.  I could hear the blood
 begin to rush in my ears as my long-awaited orgasm hit me.  It came on like a
 flood and I could feel my whole body giving way before it.  All the times
 with my own hand...all the vibrators, even R obbie could never match what
 that act he had done to me.
     Before my throes of orgasm had passed, Jeff withdrew his thumb and began
 to pump me with his wonderful tool.  His hands were on my hips, but he let
 that magical thumb tip make its print on my clitoris.  He didn't know that it
 was hurting me, but I was so grateful that I began bucking with him, trying
 to help out in the very awkward position.
     Jeff stopped the pumping for just a moment, stretched out his legs again
and was fucking me again.  And it went on and on.  The next orgasm was
unexpected and as he pounded me, I was chanting my response in time to his
movement, "Unnh..uh..ahh..  ungh..ohh..y-ess...uh...uh...ohhhhh...God...
Hmmmm.. Mmmyph... Jeff... Ungh..aaaahahhha..  hoooo,,, eEeeeaaaaiaii... I-
I..mmmmm.. ohgod...ohgod...hungh..," and then I felt it take me and I let out
my release in a low guttural moan reminiscent of a ru
tting beast,                              "UuuuummmmnnnnnnHHhaa-
Aaaaiiiiiieeeeeeee.mmmmmmmmmmmmggngngn."
     Jeff still had not cum again.  I was amazed at how long he could go
because of the way he went so fast earlier.  As he continued to pump in and
out of my pussy, I knew what I wanted to do.  I twisted my hips and pulled
away so that his rod plopp ed  out of me.  His first look of puzzlement and
disappointment had not fully set when I said, "Lie down here on your back."  I
patted the blanket beside me.
     I was remembering how upset I was after Robbie took advantage of my
  ignorance about such things.  As Jeff lay back, I rolled over so my head was
  in his lap.  When he realized what was about to happen to him, He just said,
  "Oohhhh, myyyy, Goddd." Then, "Ungaaahh," as my mouth literally sucked him
  into itself.  It was true that he was not nearly the size of Robbie, but
  that just made my job easier.
     I licked all around his member until all our mingled juices were washed
away.  Then I let his entire four inched slip through my lips until my nose
was buried in his pubic hair.  I had not been able to do this with Robbie.
Then I backed off unt il I locked my lips around the collar of the head.  I
wrapped one hand around the remainder between my mouth and his belly.  He took
my wrist and pumped my fist along the length of his cock.  I sucked firmly on
the cap of his cock.  I removed my mout h just intime as his cum began
spurting onto my tits and face.  Then bravely I enveloped his still spending
rod in my mouth and sucked and swallowed with every throb of his dick until it
was limp once more.
     When he had completely relaxed, I stretched out on my back beside him.
Jeff rolled over and sort of lay half on and half off me.  Placing one hand on
my chest he began to rub the cum that had landed there into my tits.  It felt
good, so I just lay there and let him do it.
     After a few minutes, I poked my head out from under the blanket and
couldn't see anyone around at all.  I could smell the charcoal and the hot
dogs and figured that the others were on the other side of the island at the
pavillion cooking.  The r ain had evidently scared off everyone else and we
had no competition for the facility.
     At that moment, I was not the least bit interested in food.  I just hoped
that Jeff wasn't too hungry.  The sun was out again, so I reached over to the
plastic carry-all and pulled out a dry towel.  I tossed back the corner of the
blanket and cr awled out.  Jeff just lay there, hands folded under his head,
and watched me as I wrapped myself in the towel.  I knelt down beside him and
flipped the blanket off his groin area.  I giggled at what I saw.  It just lay
there lying over to one side.  Jeff laughed, "I think you killed him."
     I had a perverse thought and acted on it.  "Perhaps he just needs a
little mouth to mouth resuscitation."  I bent at the waist and poked at his
lifeless member with my tongue.  I giggled again, "I think it may be too
late."
     Jeff raised his head and looked down.  He let a frown cross his features
and said, "Aren't you going to at least try?"
     "You're right, I better try."  I took it in my hand and held it upright.
Very slowly I let my face descend toward it.  "Slow motion, like in the
movies," I added.  Jeff laughed.
     His laugh stopped abruptly as my mouth covered the end of his cock and
licked around it a couple of time.  There was an immediate reaction.  I leaned
back and looked at the cock again.  Then seriously said, "I think we have a
chance."
     Jeff's cock was not like Robbies in another respect.  Robbie had been
 circumcised so that there was no foreskin around his mushroom-shaped glans.
 Jeff, on the other hand, although circumcised, still had an abundant and
 fleshy foreskin.  Befiore I took him into my mouth again, I wrapped a hand
 around the shaft and pushed down.  The foreskin simply slid back, and the
 head was just like Robbie's, only a little smaller.  Also, instead of being
 sort of purple, Jeff's was mostly pink.
     This time I placed my mouth just on the head and began to deliver a
slight sucking pressure.  Then I removed my hand and took as much of Jeff's
tool into my mouth as I could without gagging.  After only a lick or three,
his cock was a full size and rigidity again.  My position was that my knees
were drawn up under me and were against Jeff's hips.  I was bent over at the
waist so I could reach his cock with my mouth.  I was not aware of how
vulnerable I was until, I felt Jeff's hand on my as s.
     He didn't keep it there for long, however.  He had succeeded in finding
my pussy from behind with his fingers.  True, he could no accomplish much with
the way I was positioned, so I shifted my body until I could work my thighs
apart.  This allow ed him to play along my cunny lips, but was not very
effective as a clitoral stimulant.  I liked it anyway.
     I leaned back once more and looked at what a good job I had done reviving
him.  The next thing I did was totally spontaneous on my part, and inspired by
a picture I had seen in a magazine when I was 14.  Standing on my knees, I
turned until I co uld put my left thigh across Jeff's groin.  Straddling him
that way, I gripped his cock in my hand and carefully positioned first him and
then me until I took the tip between my still cum-lubricated pussy lips.
Squatting there, I lowered my cunt ont o his dick until I had my knees almost
even with my shoulders.
     When I hit bottom, both of us grunted.  Jeff's eyes were closed and his
mouth was open.  I leaned forward to put my breasts on his chest, and so I
could kiss him.  I didn't quite make it.  I was so short, and I was trying to
reach so far, that h is cock slipped out and sort of smacked me on the ass.
Wiggling my body down his, I repositioned myself.  This time, I just sat on
him with my legs spread in a split.  Cheerleaders can do wonderful things with
their bodies.
     I still had to raise my bottom up and reach between us to guide him in,
but it was no problem that second time.  He went in easily once more.  The
same groan issued from both of us again.  The next time I leaned forward, I
was satisfied to find his nipples under my mouth.  I began to lick and nibble
at them.  The way his hips bucked, I thought he was going to throw me off.
     "Oh, god.  Cin...Cin...," he just moaned.
     Then I sat up and began to ride him.  My knees were now splayed out to
his side as I pulled my feet back so if I were not on him, I would be sitting
on my heels.  Placing a hand on his chest, I climbed his pole.  As I lowered
myself back down, h is hands came up and cupped my breasts.  And I just
continued to ride him up and down.  Occassionally I could feel his body sort
of jerk.  Each such spasm was accompanied by his hands either locking hard on
my breasts or a sudden pinch of my nipples.  Both actions just enflamed me.  I
began to ride him faster, up and down, up and down, until I wanted to feel the
orgasm still locked inside me.
     Not knowing how to accomplish it, but going by what I had learned, I let
my hips roll under and back so Jeff's hard-on was rubbing against my clitoris.
What I had not anticipated was that such a move would set him off.  He groaned
loudly once, l ike the wind had been knocked from his and his cock was pouring
out its viscous libation once more.  Frantically, I tried to maintain the
rhythm that had gone awry by his climax, but it was too late.  It appeared
that was out again.  I even wondered if I was just "lucky" that he had brought
me off earlier.
     Actually, I had nothing to measure him against.  What I know today is
that Jeff must have been a truly remarkable lover.  There are not too many who
can lay claim to his knowledge and prowess at his age.  I think that Kevin was
probably more of the run of the mill.  Nice to be with, but ignorant of women.
Compared to Jeff, Kevin was a floundering infant.
     Just when I thought it was over, Jeff sat up.  He was still inside me and
the feeling of him changing position was somewhat...different.  I could feel
his cock sort of withdraw, but as he pulled my legs forward, I sort of sank
down on it a littl e.  Then he just let me drop back as he rolled forward.  I
was on my back, my head pointing downhill, and Jeff was between my legs.
     I started to raise my legs to his side like before, but he leaned into
meeven further and pushed my legs so that they were bent up to my chest.
Then, inspite of his height, he put my heels on his shoulders.  With his arms
outstretched, hands pl anted on the ground on either side of my head, he began
to move.  Now, I thought that his first move would be to withdraw, but instead
he pushed forward.  Never again will I think he was small.  I'm sure it was
the position, but when he drove himself deeper, his angle caused him to jab
into the forwar end of my cervix.  I found it to be an extremely uncomfortable
feeling, but as he began to pump out, then back in until he was pistoning in
and out very rapidly, it didn't matter any more.
     There was his wonderful thumb on my clitoris again.  He didn't have to
move it.  He just sort of locked it in place, and our movements provided all
the stimulation necessary.  While not as intense as the previous orgasms, it
was nevertheless lov ely, because as I peaked, I could feel my involuntary
spasms begin to grip and release his cock.  And then all I could do was grunt
and explode around him as he kept right on driving the thing home against my
poor cervix.  This time I just closed my eyes and let myself relax.
     Jeff never missed a stroke.  He just kept pounding away at my body, but I
felt so wonderfully drained that I did not mind.  He had already cum three
times and I just supposed that four was pushing it .  About that time,
however, he began to chan t, "Cin, yes, ohhh.  Ahhh..mmm.,,oh Cin...dy..," and
then  could tell it was happening again.  I let a hand move between us and my
thumb and forefinger encircled is throbbing cock.  I just let it glide wetly
between my fingers until Jeff just collaps ed on me again.  I had to wiggle
just a bit to get my legs free and down from their height.
     Suddenly, I was flooded with love and compassion that could not be
 denied.  There was something more than sex that I wanted.  I stroked the back
 of Jeff's head with one hand while I fought the lump than came into my
 throat. The feel of his penis as it shrank inside me, only heightened the
 feeling.  I was overwhelmed by an emotion that I still remember as one of
 joy.  As Jeff rolled to one side, I rolled with him, his legs still between
 mine.  His cock plopped wetly from my pussy to lay on m y inner thigh.
     I knew I had liked him a lot, but  it had become more than just "liking."
  What had happened was of paramount importance.  I had given Jeff my
  ultimate,  and more.  I didn't want to loose the guy who got my "true
  virginity."  Oh, how naive I was.  I blurted out, "I love you, Jeff."  I
  said it as much to apologize for getting upset about being "safe" as much as
  anything, but I really meant it and wanted to tell him so.
     His reaction was totally unexpected, "Cin,  I - I like you..uh.. a lot,
but, well, you know...this was just for...ahhh.. fun.  Tami's in Europe for
the summer and... well.. we ....Gosh, Cin, I don't know what to say."
     I exploded.  "You...you...bastard.  You've been dating me for almost two
 months and never one time did you mention that stuck up little bitch!"  I
 began to slap and hit at him.  "You fucked me!  You fucked me!  Damn you!"  I
 screamed as my fists flailed at him.  He tried to get hold of my wrists, but
 I started pushing myself out from under him with my feet.  "Get away from me!
 You tricked me!  You let me...do...all those things to you!"  I was sobbing
 uncontrollably as he still held my wri sts.  Let GO!"  I was now standing,
 kicking at him, when satisfying thing that could have happened, did happen.
 My right foot trying to push me further from him slipped and landed solidly
 in his crotch.  Jeff dropped into a fetal position grabbing h is privates I
 suppose.  Then I was out of the blanket, standing there in the raw, the towel
 having dropped to lay around my feet.
     Retrieving the towel, I kicked once more at his groaning form, I
retrieved my bikini and put it back on.  When I felt his juices running from
my pussy and down my leg, I burst into tears and ran down to the water and
jumped in.  Swimming out a w ays, I pulled the bikini off and used my hands to
try to clean myself, even trying to pull the sticky strings of semen from my
vagina.  I rinsed the bathing suit, put it on and swam for shore.  I walked to
where Jeff was kneeling still holding his cr otch.  I almost gagged when I saw
the puddle where he had vomited.  I just said, "Bastard!  I hope I broke it"
and walked away.
     Deanna and Bobby, and Beth and Woody were on the other side of the island
 grilling hot dogs.  Their knowing look did not escape me as I tried to look
 nonchalant.  Beth, who was not one of my favorite people in the world said,
 "Tami is sure going to be pissed at you when she gets back."
     "Shut up, dick breath." I shot back.  Shocked wasn't the word for her
look.
     So that's the way it happened for me.  I didn't speak to Jeff again that
 day.  On the way home I rode in the back with Deanna and made Bobby sit up
 front.  Dick Breath did shut up.  You better believe Tami was pissed when she
 got back.  They say she used a knee to finish what I started.  Jeff went on
 to basketball glory and made a name for himself at a SEC university.  I never
 spoke to him again.  Last I heard he had knocked up a university variety
 cheerleader and her father made all the we dding arrangements.  The pro
 scouts finally quit looking at him after he ruined a knee.
    The saddest story was Kevin.  He wasn't able to make varsity at Wake
Forest, but was satisfied just doing well in school.  He married a girl he met
in Winston-Salem while he was a Junior.  During his senior year Kevin was
diagnosed as having leuk emia.  He lived just one year after it was found.  It
never went into remission.  I'm not sure what happened to his wife
    Oh yeah, I almost forgot about Tami.  Well we became very good friends
throughout my senior year of high school.  I found out that she had been
screwing Jeff ever since middle school.  After some of the stories she told
me, it was no wonder Jeff was as good as he was.  They had gotten their sex
education from "some books" they had found, and started to experiment when she
was 14.  She dumped him because he was always on the make.  It seems that he
had been giving and taking "intimacy" instructions with several of the girls
at school.  I was just another link in the chain.
     Tammy and I both went to the University of Maryland, but she tossed in
 the towel when a local restaurant owner promised to love, honor and cherish
 her, as well as shower her with anything she wants.  She told me recently on
 a visit that although he is 15 years her senior, they have a good marriage,
 and that she fucks his brains out on a regular basis.  All that book-learning
 I suppose.  And their twin girls are just precious.
     As for me, I had become appalled at my erratic sexual conduct.  It seemed
that after a time of abstinence, I would do just fine.  But when I gave in to
the emotions that besieged me from time to time, I turned into what I would
define as a wanto n slut.  My sexual nature seemingly had no conscience, only
a drive.  Except for the three episodes I have described, I had no other
intimate sexual encounters until I graduated from high school.  Furthermore,
my sex life after the encounter with Jeff until the summer I turned 23 was
pretty tame.
