******************
Windows Secrets
12/12/94

-Whiplash [iLL]
******************

Dammit, I KNOW Windows sucks.  With Win'95 just around the corner, (at the
time of this writing) Win 3.1 and WFW 3.11 are on the brink of obsolescence,
yet many have requested that this text be created before the information
contained herein outlives its usefulness.

At the request of the many, here are two rather intersting features of the
soft that surprisingly few people know about:

The first involves various limitations you can impose on the Program Manager.
(GREAT for screwing with systems at a school...)

The second involves changing the blue startup screen to whatever your little
heart desires.


**********************************                                
              Part 1
**********************************                                
The Windows Program Manager includes an undocumented, unadvertised feature
that allows you to restrict access in a number of ways.

1> Edit PROGMAN.INI

2> Add the following line to the end of the file:

   [restrictions]

3> Add any or all of the following parameters under [restrictions]

ͻ
  Line Addition    What it does                                            
͹
 norun=1           Disables "Run" under the File menu.                     
Ķ
 noclose=1         Makes exiting impossible.                               
Ķ
 nosavesettings=1  Disables "Save Settings On Exit" under the Options menu.
Ķ
 nofilemenu=1      Removes entire File menu.                               
Ķ
 editlevel=1       Can't create or delete program groups.                  
Ķ
 editlevel=2       Can't create or delete program groups.                  
                   Can't create, move, copy, or delete program items, but  
                      existing items can be fully edited.                  
Ķ
 editlevel=3       Can't create or delete program groups.                  
                   Can't create, move, copy, or delete program items, and  
                      existing program item command lines cannot be edited.
Ķ
 editlevel=4       Can't create or delete program groups.                  
                   Can't create, move, copy, or delete program items.      
                   Can't change any existing program item properties.      
ͼ

4> Just save the file, quit, go back to Windows, and "enjoy" your newfound
   imprisonment.

Keep in mind that the average Windows user is CLUELESS as to what goes on
past the GUI, so you could really screw someone over with this...

(Come to think of it, the average Windows user is probably clueless to a LOT
 more than that...)

Anyone with half a brain could take that stuff out of the .ini, but how many
Windows users actually have half a brain?

There may be additional parameters, but I'm fairly certain that this list
comprises the lot of them.

**********************************                                
              Part 2
**********************************                                

The blue Windows startup screen is nothing short of ANNOYING.  Now you can
change it to whatever you want.  Some good ideas would include a self-
portrait, raytraced fruit or some shit..., a scanned pic of your girlfriend,
a picture of a pretty girl doing something obscene with farm animals,
anything you can manage in 3DS, somthing you pulled outta The 7th Guest or 
Myst with Screen Thief, or maybe even a monkey.  The possibilities are
endless.  Here's how:

1> Back up \WINDOWS\WIN.COM and \WINDOWS\SYSTEM\VGALOGO.RLE just in case...
                              
2> Get a file that you think would be spiffy to look at everytime you start 
   Windoze.  (Personalize it, whatever.)

2> Convert that picture to RLE format with something like GWS.

3> Rename the file VGALOGO.RLE and put it in your \windows\system directory.

4> Go to your \windows\system directory and type the following:
   
   COPY /B WIN.CNF + VGALOGO.LGO + VGALOGO.RLE WIN.COM
   
   Type that EXACTLY as it appears, and a new WIN.COM will be made in your
   \windows\system directory.

5> Move the newly-created WIN.COM to the \windows directory, and run it.  If
   it works, you're all set.  If not, something happened.

I've not tried this procedure but once or twice, so there may be limitations.
I do know, however, that Windows doesn't even look for the video driver until
AFTER it's displayed the startup screen.  This would lead me to assume that
the startup screen that you make must be 640x480x16.  I could be wrong
however, but I'm too lazy to experiment.

If it doesn't work for some reason, or you can't get a good 16 color scan :),  
just restore your backups.

**********************************
     Conclusion & Commentary
**********************************
I hope you find some use for what you've learned here...

I'm predicting that Win'95 will be a big flop.  (At least, I'm HOPING it'll
be...)  I haven't actually used any of the betas floating around, but from
what I've seen, it's going to really suck...  What will become of MS-DOS once
Win'95 comes out?  I'm predicting that Microsoft will feign an interest in the
DOS users of the world for about a year after Win'95's release...  (Maybe even
get around to releasing 7.0...)  One dark day Mr. Bill is gonna decide to
"reconnoiter the focus of Microsoft," and give all us DOS users a nice little
surprise.  Trust me.  The day will come.  I saw it in a dream.

And another thing that pisses me off: Who the HELL decided to tag this lame
name on the produkt?  Personally, I think that "Chicago" is ten times better
than Win'95.  Is this to imply that there will be a Win'96?  A Win'97?  Will
there be a new version released EVERY FUCKING YEAR?  Look at me, I'm arguing
the most unimportant point of the OS.

Christ, it's late, I'm pissed, and I just ran out of salsa.  Now I'll have to
run downstairs to get the mild crap for these stale chips.  Sometimes I think
I'm the only one that likes the hot shit (salsa).

Arite, I'm way off topic, so I'd best be cutting this off at the path.

Lates...

-Whiplash [iLL Senior]
12/12/94
