
       This info release is of interest to pirates and sysops in
         North America/England/Europe/Australia/South America

  
  WARNING   WARNING  WARNING  WARNING  WARNING  WARNING  WARNING  WARNING
  
  
     Summary      -  Pinkerton's & Wackenhut hired to catch pirates
       of         -  SPA reports $7.4 billion losses to pirates in 1993
     Contents     -  SPA reports that in 1993 they busted 245 entities
                     and recovered $3 million in settlements.           
                  -  India, Pakistan, Brazil, Korea and Malaysia reported
                     to be experiencing SPECTACULAR growth in piracy !

  
  WARNING   WARNING  WARNING  WARNING  WARNING  WARNING  WARNING  WARNING
    

     TEXT AS FOLLOWS >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

                   SPA NEWS PRE-RELEASE DATED 31 MARCH 1994
 
         Washington (CP)   Two top international security companies
         have been hired to bust pirate bulletin boards  around the
         world!    According to SPA, Pinkertons and  Wackenhut were
         awarded  multi-million dollar  contracts to infiltrate and
         bust pirate bulletin boards.  SPA reports that US software
         publishers lost an estimated $7.4 billion dollars (US$) in
         1993 which was down from the $7.9 billion they lost in 1992
         
         The report to be released in June 1994 by SPA, the Software
         Publishers Association, claimed that the United States  had
         the largest dollar loss, $1.57 billion in 1993, followed by
         Japan with $650 million and France with $435 million. It is
         also reported that piracy is growing at the highest rate in
         India and Pakistan, up 95% in 1993,  followed by Brazil and
         Korea which are up 89%.   Malaysia took third place honours
         with an 88% increase in software piracy.

         SPA reported that in 1993 their association reported audits
         or lawsuits against 245 companies or individuals.   Through
         settlements, the association received $3 million, which was
         given to member companies < this means each of the software
         companies got approximately $2727 hahahahaha what suckers >

         Terri Shields, a spokesperson for SPA stated that  " to put
         our losses in perspective,  the total United States's sales
         of recorded music was only $9 billion in 1993 - the pirates
         stole $7.4 billion from the software industry!!"


      END OF TEXT :>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

         So the bottom line to the pirate world is this :

            a.  Euro pirates had better get their pirating act together
                because frogs and paki's are both reporting higher
                growths of piracy !  Hehehehe what an insult !

            b.  SPA likes to compare $10 records to $90 software progs
                maybe because the software is overpriced in comparison.

            c.  Be on the look out for 'rent-a-dicks' from Pinkertons
                and Wackenhut - cuz they are on the look out for us.

            d.  SPA has shown that they seek and destroy mostly targets
                where they can make money suing the company or sysop.

            e.  I wonder how much money was paid to the staff of SPA and
                to their lawyers in 1993 ?  They seem to forget to mention
                their operating cost in this 'Annual Report'   The report
                tells us that SPA squeezed $3 million out of the accused
                companies/sysops, but it fails to mention how much it cost
                them to bust/prosecute each of the 245 entities.  I am sure
                that the prosecution and harassment of the 245 companies 
                cost far more than the pitiful $2727 paid to each of the
                members of SPA !  So SPA still ended up paying out more
                than they got back and that makes them suckers...
                
            f.  Help keep the SPA employed - pirate a program today  !

            g.  As for Pinkerton's and Wackenhut - just remember that 
                rent-a-cops come cheaper by the dozen.   Yah I am just
                trembling at the thought of one of their security guards
                coming to my house heheheeh  - NOT!    If we don't fear
                the Secret Service, AT&T, MCI, SPRINT, FBI, Interpol, 
                New Scotland Yard, the Bundeposte, the RCMP, or local 
                cops than why the hell does SPA think we would fear 
                these $4 an hour losers in their psuedo cop uniforms.
                Shit they aren't even allowed to carry guns and we are.
                

                
                        The Cheech and Chong Live Theatre 
                                   Presents
                         F U T U R E   S C E N A R I O


                
  Future        Pinkertons  :   Knock knock... 
  Scenario      A Pirate    :   Whose there ?
  Act           Pinkertons  :   Pinkertons - open the door this is a bust!
  One           A Pirate    :   <<< B A N G >>>> Hehehhehheh 

                
   Future       Wackenhut    :  Knock knock...
   Scenario     A Pirate     :  Whose there ?
   Act          Wackenhut    :  Wackenhut calling on behalf of SPA
   Two          A Pirate     :  Here's $6 - now go an fuck off
                Wackenhut    :  Ok thanks SIR!!

                                
   Future       Pinkertons   :  Knock Knock...
   Scenario     A Pirate     :  Whose there ?
   Act          Pinkertons   :  Pinkertons with a warrant for your arrest!
   Three        A Pirate     :  There's nobody home !
                Pinkertons   :  Ok.. I will come back when someones home.
                

   Future       Wackenhut    :  Knock knock...
   Scenario     A Pirate     :  Whose there ?
   Act          Wackenhut    :  Wackenhut!  We are here to bust you!
   Four         A Pirate     :  If only you knew how fucking little I care
                                << SLAMMING THE DOOR IN HIS FACE >>
                Wackenhut    :  Sorry for bothering you SIR !

                
   Future       Pinkertons   :  Knock Knock...
   Scenario     A Pirate     :  Whose there ?
   Act          Pinkertons   :  Pinkertons - we are the software cops !
   Five         A Pirate     :  Eat my one-eyed-trouser-snake you parasite
                Pinkertons   :  Sure if you pay me more than the lousy $5
                                an hour these scum at Pinkertons pay me !
                                
   Future       Wackenhut    :  Knock Knock...
   Scenario     A Pirate     :  Whose there ?
   Act          Wackenhut    :  Dave << trying to trick the pirate >>
   Six          A Pirate     :  Dave's not here... < in a stoned voice >
                Wackenhut    :  No man.. this is Dave...
                A Pirate     :  Dave... No way.... Dave's not here...
                Wackenhut    :  I am confused SIR.  Maybe I will come
                                back later.
                A Pirate     :  Confused is not here...
                Wackenhut    :  Forget it...
                A Pirate     :  Forget it's not here...

   Future       Pinkertons   :  Knock Knock...
   Scenario     A Pirate     :  Whose there ?
   Act          Pinkertons   :  I understand your a pirate... can you give
   Seven                     :  me a copy of Ultima 8 for my kid...
                A Pirate     :  Sure... come on in you poor underpaid leech !
                Pinkertons   :  Thanks man...  that's why I took this job...
                                I get to meet all the top pirates in person  
                                and get great warez !  Hey, I sure can't 
                                afford any of this shit on $5 bucks an hour.
                                
                              Epilogue
                              
          Sung to the tune of 'Whose afraid of the big bad wolf' (c) Disney

          
                "      Whose afraid of the rent-a-dicks
                           the rent-a-dicks
                           the rent-a-dicks
                      Whose afraid of the rent-a-dicks
                          Certainly not me.....            "
                          
                          
                          
