--anonymous
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### The Dilemma: My Mothers Will

My mother said that she was going to change her will and leave her money to my sister "because she needs it and you don't." My husband and I aren't rich but we have good jobs and savings. My sister is a single mom who has two kids and a hard life. I see my mother's point, but I think she should leave me my share and trust me to do right by my sister. I say to myself "grow up, your mom has the right to do what she wants." Yet I still feel hurt. Should I just get over this or should I say something?
--- Posted by Brendq
--- Posted by plustwo
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### A Solution: Accept It . . .

Your mother has every legal and logical right to do exactly as she pleases with her money. Don't make this issue into one of sibling rivalry or to evaluate how much your mother loves you. Simply accept that this is her money and, as an adult, she can do as she pleases with it. How would you feel if she were trying to tell you and your husband what to do with your money?

### A Solution: So Be It. . .

Please do not take this wrong, but It ticks me off when I hear this. You love you parent right? You should let them do what they want with their and I emphasize their belongings. They earned it and have the right to make decisions about them. YOu should be content to know that your parents loved you. The rest is meaningless. memories should satisfy all. If one gets more than the other because the parent felt this would help best that way. so be it.

### A Solution: Count Your Blessings. . .

The things in life that are of value cannot be bought with money. Obviously, your mother's heart is at peace knowing you are well taken care of and do not need her as much as your sister does. She was able to share her decision with you because she felt you would understand and have the same compassion for your sister as she does. You have an "equal", "friend" relationship with your mother that your sister does not. My mother has no money to leave me but she has given me everything--her love, friendship and herself. Count your blessings and not the bucks!

### A Solution: I Understand . . .

I understand where you are coming from. I am the single mother and my sister is happily married one. I am always grateful for any help my father can give me and so is my sister it just seems while he is giving to me he won't buy her a cup of coffee because after all 'she can afford it.' She is made to feel her successes are being held against her and I am made to feel like my fathers pet charity. Either way we both feel uncomfortable with it.

### A Solution: Get Your Feelings Out. . .

I would talk with your mother, since it's obviously eating you up inside, and tell her how you feel. Your purpose in talking to her doesn't have to be to change her mind; I just think it'd be good for you to get all of your feelings out in the open. One of the other parents here may be right in saying your mother may plan to leave you something else, something perhaps that may mean more to you than money, and if that's the case, and if you value a memento more than the money, you'll feel much better if you know that. I'm a single mom, and I know how hard things can get, but I can tell you that, if it came down to money or a relationship with my sister, I'd thank my mother for her good intentions, but I'd split the money. Who knows - maybe your sister feels the same way. You may even want to talk with her about it, to see how she feels.

### A Solution: No Greater Joy. . .

I am going thru the same thing only with my grandmother,but I realize that its just the devil whom puts these thoughts inmy head. He is the author of all confusion.Of course I would rather that my family in need come 1st..Only hope that she uses good judgementin how she distributes this will &sets guidelines in how it is to be used by & not squanderd by the individuals.But we have no control over this. I feel no matter what the desision is you should resist the devil & become a friend to this person and not just one of the possible resippients.Adding your support For these very difficult times.Being a part of the giving is just as rewarding as the resieving trust me...Thers no greater joy..And you will also gain your surviving families friendships forever..Hope I added...