$Unique_ID{BRK00433}
$Pretitle{Community and Social Problems}
$Title{Getting Nowhere With Toilet Training, What is a Mother to do?}
$Subject{toilet training child}
$Volume{Q-23}
$Log{}

Copyright (c) 1991   Tribune Media Services, Inc.


Getting Nowhere With Toilet Training, What is a Mother to do?


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QUESTION:  It feels like a war, and I'm losing.  There is seemingly nothing I
can do to get my two year old toilet trained, despite all my efforts.  He is a
bright child, and all of his playmates are well on the road to control, but we
are getting no where.  What is a mother to do?

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ANSWER:  Your frustrations are showing, so sit down for a moment, take a deep
breath and lets talk.  Most authorities agree that if you have been trying for
several months, and your child reaches the age of 2 1/2 with out successfully
achieving training, you may assume he is resisting in a conscious way, and you
haven't reached that age limit yet.  However, it is the time to change
strategy.  By now he knows what you want, and is capable of performing, but
will fight your efforts, unless you turn over the responsibility to him.  No
more scheduled sessions just sitting, no more frequent questions or reminders.
Reminders are just another form of parental pressure.  One last discussion to
tell him that "peepee" and "dooty" are his to deal with, and that you know he
doesn't need your help.  By withdrawing attention from the bathroom battle,
the need for attention can only be met when performance merits it.  Of course,
you must stick by your guns, but offer positive reinforcement freely, small
rewards, like building blocks or pennies may do it.  Create a visual aid, like
a poster or calendar, and mark it boldly for every victory, while you heap on
the praise.  Even sitting on the potty-chair counts, for once that routine is
established, you are on your way.  Don't stand around while he is on the
chair, let him come to you with the story of his success.  Once you have
informed him about wet or soiled clothing, have him help clean them.  Having
him rinse a soiled garment in the toilet bowel will keep him aware of his
duties and help motivate him to avoid this unpleasantness.  Accidents will
happen, but avoid any harsh criticism or punishment, and do not embarrass him
as it is counterproductive.  And don't be embarrassed yourself, but discuss
strategies with the parents of your son's playmates.  Let them know what your
situation is and what rules are governing your actions, so they can use the
same guidelines when your child is visiting with them.  They may have
developed routines that may be helpful for you, so discuss it openly.  Once
you have all your ducks in a row, you may be pleasantly surprised at the speed
of your child's progress.  And I will be happy to pass on to you all the
helpful advice that I know my readers will provide me when they read this
answer.
ÿ
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The material contained here is "FOR INFORMATION ONLY" and should not replace 
the counsel and advice of your personal physician.  Promptly consulting your 
doctor is the best path to a quick and successful resolution of any medical 
problem.
