Stevetris/Tetris v1.00
By Steve Rosenthal
email: iwantanoctopus@hotmail.com
This file dated: 27-01-2002


1. Quick-start. READ THIS AT LEAST!

To get simple instructions, just type:

TETRIS /?

     *******
And *WARNING* - DO NOT MAKE THE EXE FILE READ ONLY!!!!
     *******

Ok... go have fun now. Go on. 

2. Introduction

So you're still with me? That's nice. I'll try not to let you down too much.
If you're looking for a new spin on the old Tetris game, then quit right now.
This is just a straight-forward Tetris clone. Nothing more, nothing less. The
reason I made it was because I was trying to "get it on" with a chick who's
really into Tetris, and thought coughing up my own Tetris clone would get a
little action happening.

Pathetic, huh? :)

Still, ever since I finished this game (probably a year or so ago now, I just
haven't gotten around to releasing it anywhere) it's given me something to do
whenever I get bored. Hopefully, whenever you're really bored, you'll think
of this game too... err...?

3. Gameplay

This game works like any normal Tetris game. Move and rotate the blocks to
make complete lines, so as to score points. The more lines you eliminate at
once, the more points you score. The scoring system is something like this:

1 line = 200 points * (level/2)
2 lines = 600 points * (level/2)
3 lines = 1200 points * (level/2)
4 lines = 2400 points * (level/2)

So on those later levels, if you can eliminate 4 lines at once, you can
easily pick up 10,000 points or more. Good stuff. I'm excited, how about you?

You also score a few points based on how quickly you get the block settled;
usually something around 10 to 30 points. It ain't much, but it adds up. So
use the down key to get those blocks down as quickly as you can!

Controls are simple:

<Left-right arrows>     move block left or, as you may have guessed, right
<Up arrow>              rotate block 90 degrees
<Down arrow>            drop block faster (hold down for fast-fast drop!)
<Scroll-lock>           Pauses game. I have no idea why I picked this key
<Escape>                Quit game back to main menu. Press again to exit.

And yes, there is a cheat option, but I'll be buggered if I can remember what
it was. It's been six months since I last looked at the code! It had something
to do with a command line parameter, then pressing <Control>... hmm...

4. Misc

Ok, I hate to be rude, but... what is it with people who make games, that
have like 10,000,000 data files? What's wrong with a bit of compression
people? It's neat, it saves disk space by not wasting sectors, it's good for
the environment... Anyway, this Tetris game fits into one (1) single file...
the TETRIS.EXE file. It contains all the info, including sound, data, the
high-score table, everything! Just make sure you don't set it to be a
read-only file! The file has to modify itself for the high-score table to be
written!

And another complaint... what's with Americans calling jam donuts, jelly
donuts? It's frickin' jam in the donut, ok? Jelly is the wobbly stuff you eat
with icecream or custard. Jam is what you put in a donut, or a sandwich. Damn
people... it's a simple concept. And no, no-one else cares about baseball ok?

5. Credits

Biggest thanks to Alexi Pajintov (hope I spelt that correctly) for inventing
Tetris in the first place! You, Sir, are a true champion!

Thanks also to Andre Victor for his fantastic multiple key processing routine
which is used in this program; before I put that in, this game was Sucktris.
Now, it's Notbadtris.

Aside from that, I did pretty much the rest of it. No libraries, no ASM code
(aside from Andre Victor's routine). Just plain old Quick Basic version four
point five. If you like the game, or hate it, or maybe you're really bored,
e-mail me anytime. Also, at the moment (early 2002) I'm looking for someone
to help with some simple graphics for a platform game I'm working on... if
it's still 2002 when you're reading this, and you think you can help, e-mail
me!

6. Legal

Look, even though I have a law degree, I don't need it to tell you this:
don't bother suing me, because I haven't got anything to be sued for. That
said, I take no resposibility whatsoever for anything this program does or
doesn't do. This program is entirely bona fide, and I release myself from all
liability (except where your state/country legislation prohibits this). So
you play this game at your own risk! If it reaches out of the computer and
rams a pair of scissors through your eyeball, that's your problem, not mine.
If it makes your wife screw every neighbour in the street, and their dogs,
then e-mail me about it because I want to know, but don't expect me to do
anything but laugh. Send some photos too if you can.

7. And what about that Tetris-chick?

Well, let's see. That was probably more than 12 months ago now. Since then,
she's found herself a sugar-daddy whose sexuality must be called into
question. Obviously, he isn't gay, but I'd lay even money on him going both
ways, if you get what I mean. That said, he's the one boning her and I'm not,
so I guess I haven't got much to laugh about. Pffft. Who cares. Bet she's a
lously root anyway.

For anyone who may be wondering... from experience, I can tell you: if you
want to get with a chick, don't do it by making a Tetris clone. I know, that
may come as a surprise... Tetris clones are what all the hot women want. But,
I can assure you, there's better ways about it. Having a head that doesn't
look like a dog's bum with a hat on is one of them.

Have fun with Stevetris/Tetris!

 "Sorry, I couldn't help it. Just too much fun."
 - Christopher Lambert, Mean Guns (1996)
