
                              BOBQUEST

                      STARRING BOB THE HAMSTER

          (C) Copyright 1995 - Hamster Republic Productions

                     http://HamsterRepublic.com

                     --------------------------

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TABLE OF CONTENTS:
                       1- BOBQUEST TITLE
                       2- TABLE OF CONTENTS
                       3- BOBQUEST QUOTABLE PROPAGANDA
                       4- SYSTEM REQUIREMENTS
                       4- CONTROLS
                       4- WEAPONS
                       5- HOW TO MAKE CHILI
                       6- POWERUPS
                       7- ENEMIES
                       8- DIRECTIONS TO MY HOUSE
                       9- HACKER'S GUIDE
                      10- DIRESPAM ADVERTISEMENT
                      11- W
                      12- BOBQUEST SECRETS
                      13- TROUBLESHOOTING
                      14- WORDS THAT RHYME WITH NEUROSIS
                      15- AN APOLOGY  
                      16- CREDIT WHERE CREDIT IS DUE

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Pummel Beasties! Smite Nasties! Slice, smash, cleave, and rend asunder!
If you have a thing for small furry mammals carrying dangerous weapons,
then this is the game for you! Control Bob the Hamster as he beats up all
sorts of monsters mostly just because he feels like it! Match wits with the
notorious doughnut mafia, Duel a fifteenth-century slavic warlord, and
meet Elvis! Thrills, chills, and small rodents await you in: BOBQUEST

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                   BOBQUEST SYSTEM REQUIREMENTS:
                   ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
                   386 or better required (486 or better recomended)
                   VGA (Video Graphics Array)
                   390k (0.4MB) Hard drive space

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CONTROLS:    Move Bob                   Arrow keys
             Strike                     Space or keypad 5
             Weapon menu                Enter
             Save menu                  Esc or keypad -
             Move menu cursor           Keypad

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WEAPONS:     Mauve Sword           Bob's first weapon
             Frosted doughnut      Inexpensive mid-range balistic snack
             Vlad's Sword          Watch out! It is cursed!
             Viviplunger           Unclog toilets, or suck life essence
             Used Beans            A violent `backfire'
             Cheeserang            Cheddar that keeps coming back
             Pavender              Very effective for smacking people with
             Molatov Bob           Close, wide range pyro attack
             *Moonflower           Homing weapon! Homing weapon!
             Mr.Happybaloon        Long range air-filled projectile
             Elvis Tune            Diagonal sound waves (Uh-Huh!)
             Time Bomb             Make a mine field!
             *Gutspiller           The best close range weapon
             *MegaNuke             Suicide attack
             *Lemming Dive         My personal favorite

             * these weapons are secret! Bet you cant find them, Ha Ha!

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HOW TO MAKE CHILI:   Open one can of Hormel* hot chili (with beans)
                     and empty into a saucepan. Place on the stove over 
                     medium-low heat, stirring occaisonaly (If you are
                     worried about burning it, you might want to add a
                     little water.) While the Chili is cooking, grate
                     the desired amount of cheddar cheese. (I reccomend
                     one part cheese to two parts chili) When the Chili
                     starts to boil, stir it, if it continues to boil,
                     it is done. Turn off the heat, and pour into a heat-
                     resistant bowl. Add cheese, ketchup, and crackers 
                     in desired quantities. Pour yourself a nice glass
                     of whole milk (2% will do in a pinch), and chow down.
                     Remember not to go swimming for at least a half hour.

  * Hormel is the very same company that brings us fine products like SPAM

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POWERUPS:   These items are available from stores and/or defeated monsters

            SunSeed                          $
            Bag of Seeds                     $$$
            Carrot                           Cure a little
            Mega Carrot                      Cure a lot
            SumoBaloon                       Cure even more
            Elvis Song                       Cure a lot more
            Bobkaseltzer                     Level up in a bottle
            Mystery Crate                    ???
            MoonRock                         ???

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ENEMIES:      These are the monsters you want to find and hurt

           MONSTER                         DESCRIPTION
           -------                         -----------
           Pink Plip                       Dumb
           Snatchle                        Ugly
           Vrang                           Repulsive
           Skinny                          Gaunt
           Oogler                          Deformed
           Blue Goomple                    Mushroomesque
           Ghost                           Possesed toilet paper
           BoltBot                         Hulking
           Invisibeast                     Ineffable
           Roach                           Alluvial
           Impod                           Evil jellybean
           Slugoped                        Evil gumdrop
           Sparky                          Dour
           Sumo                            Lumpish

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DIRECTIONS TO MY HOUSE:  Leave town past the post office, Turn right
                         just past the sherif station, go about a half 
                         mile, then turn right, The road is unpaved,
                         follow it a little ways and look for a yellow
                         house on the left with my car parked in the
                         driveway. Cant miss it. Dont worry if my
                         dog barks at you, she wont bite.

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HACKERS GUIDE:          Hackers may want to alter this game for their
                own personal use, but they should just remember that dis-
                tributing altered copies of the game is even more illegal
                than distributing unaltered copies.
                        This was my first full-scale game, so it is rank 
                with incompetent coding.
                        If you cant figure out how to alter the text, you
                shouldnt be using a computer in the first place, so I wont
                go into that.
                        The graphics (BOBSTUF*.*) are pretty standard
                QuickBasic picture arrays. If you know QB, you could try to
                mess with them, but it would probably be too much trouble.
                        The map files (ROOM.*) are nothing too complex. In
                retrospect, I would have liked to put them all in one file.
                (I am doing that in DireSPAM:BobQuest II.) The numbers tell
                what map blocks each room uses. I used to have an index of
                them written down, but I lost it. You could figure it out
                by just changing with ROOM.1, you know, a guess-and-check
                sort of thing. You probably wont be able to change the door
                locations or the friendly hamster locations, because they
                are stored in the EXE. (my fault)
                        ENEMY.BOB has all the enemy data. Each row 
                corresponds to the appropriate room. The first number in
                each row is the number of enemies in the room plus one.
                (more incompetent programming.) The rest of the numbers on 
                each line are enemy data- picture, speed, strength, etc.
                I had all that written down, but I lost it too.
                        Savegames (FILE?.SAV) should be fairly easy to 
                change too. Each item in the list of numbers is a different
                stat. Dont bother changing the weapon name, because it
                doesnt actualy affect what you are equiped with. Once again,
                I dont have my index anymore, so you will have to guess and 
                check.
                        All said, It should be but a small task to alter this
                game. I realy didnt know much about programming when I made 
                it. Keep an eye out for DireSPAM. Already it is shaping up
                to be a grat game. (It will be much harder to hack than this
                one.)
                        If you want my original basic program, my graphics
                editor, and my map editor, write to me (for the address,
                choose the `credits' option off of the intro menu) or just
                drop by on a weekday afternoon. (directions above) Bring 
                some snacks if you come!

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DIRESPAM ADVERTISEMENT:
            Sure, Bobquest is a simple little game. Sure, Its fun to
         play and all, but what about It's sequel? DireSPAM.

            DireSPAM is spiffy, there is no other way to put it. Bigger
            better graphics, digitized Sound Blaster effects, A MASSIVE
            world to explore. Uglier, smarter, more dangerous enemies.
            New weapons, with special fighting techniques. A unique real-
            time timescale that lets real-world date and time effect 
            gameplay, and best of all, believe it or not, A PLOT!!!
        
        Yes! you heard right! A plot! Written by esteemed future-bestselling
        author, and self proclaimed master chef James Paige. What is the
        plot? well, here is a hint:

      Bob the Hamster, innocently attempting to buy doughnuts in a bad part
    of town, stumbles upon the Doughnut Mafia's plot to assasinate the
    Eminent (the ruler of the land). Forced against his will to take part in
    the foul scheme, Bob goes to Cheese Island to aquire a murder weapon.
      The forces of fate, chance, gravity, and lost pennies draw Bob the
    Hamster deeper and deeper into a tangled web of conspiracy. Soon it
    becomes clear, that to save the world from total destruction, Bob
    must travel space and time to stop the dreaded DireSPAM that the
    doughnut mafia has inadvertantly released upon us! Can Bob climb the
    mystic pork tree and recover the last SPAM? Can he survive the ocean
    depths and find the elusive pavender? Can he beat the grim reaper in
    a mortal duel of monopoly? Or will he give in to the forces of darkess
    and become the willing slave of the dreaded DireSPAM? Only you have
    the power to decide! Only you can save the world- or destroy it!

   DireSPAM:BobQuest II is still in development. It should be availble
   aproxamately right after I finish it. Hold your breath! Twitch with
   anticipation!

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W:

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If you stare at this picture long enough, you might see a `W'
If you can see it just at a glance, there might be something wrong
 with your brain. See a doctor immediately.

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BOBQUEST SECRETS:
                You want to know the secrets to BobQuest? you want
             to know the warp code, the mutation code, and the
             locations of the secret rooms? Do you want to know how
             to uncurse Vlad's sword? Here is how:

                Boo gob, ug mug pooka sot. Zoo thrubb pic pip blap
             lug log dog. Gor Foo Flum? Soop Nog wig Pig loop noo goober
             boogle. Louf loaf poom oo glub.
                Bipple lib log grob thrug. Garf luff glug wom woom. Do
             Jug joo pod pow gribble. Arf ood doof moo Pib Blorp Mug 
             Ugga. Bibble Log. Loof a era uoy
                Yick Goo do pug. Augh phoo rog loob. Zo roo poink pog.
                Noo pug chuck luff oom bog rumma bog. Oo dib lug lug
             Poo zot mig jot loo.
                Doff roop pom pum lum dif. Cog low doom mow rup pow oo.
             Jug lugug foop poo gob wibble merp burg log. lum pic jab do
             bunk. Grunk chubb rupp do pog. Meep mo do pank! Lim feep
             jum rup mog lop. Sdrawkcab delleps era sterces eseht.

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TROUBLESHOOTING:  Having some trouble? maybe this will help.

   PROBLEM                                       SOLUTION
   -------                                       --------
  -Not enough hard drive space                  -Delete something
  
  -Not enough memory to run BobQuest            -Throw away your smeppy old
                                                 computer and buy one that
                                                 doesnt suck.
  
  -I cant use the arrow keys to move the        -Use the keypad arrow keys.
   cursor on menus!                              That error is the result
                                                 of my programming ineptitude
  
  -My mouse wont work                           -No kidding.
  
  -The PC speaker effects annoy me. I want      -Stop whining and play
   Sound Blaster effects!                        DireSPAM:BobQuest II
  
  -My girl left me, and my dog hates me.        -Write a country-western
                                                 song and get rich.
  
  -Stray bullets from a driveby went through    -Then just use the monitor
   my window and shattered my monitor.           you are reading this off of.
                                                 I just hate it when people
                                                 can afford two of them!
  
  -A hole opened up in the fabric of time,      -Open up a laundrimat.
   and I was sucked back into medeval france.
   I dont speak french, and the peasants think
   I am a sorceror, and want to burn me at the 
   stake.

  -I looted the tomb of an Egyptian Pharoh,    -That happened to me once.
   and now I am cursed to die young in a        I had to go to the hospital.
   messy way.

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WORDS THAT RHYME WITH NEUROSIS:

  anadiplosis
  anamorphosis
  ankylosis
  apotheosis
  carcinosis
  chlorosis
  cirrhosis
  diagnosis
  enantiosis
  endosmosis
  epanadiplosis
  epanorthosis
  exosmosis
  geognosis
  heliosis
  heterosis
  hypnosis
  hypotyposis
  ichthyosis
  meiosis
  metasomatosis
  metempsychosis
  metemptosis
  metensomatosis
  morosis
  morphosis
  narcosis
  necrosis
  osmosis
  pneumonoultramicroscopicsiliconvolcaniconiosis
  proemptosis
  prognosis
  psychosis
  ptosis
  pyrosis
  sarcosis
  scirrhosis
  sorosis
  tuberculosis
  zygosis
  zymosis

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AN APOLOGY:    We at Hamster Republic Productions most sincerely
              apologise for the part we played in triggering the
              War of 1812.
               Sorry. So sorry. Really.

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CREDIT WHERE CREDIT IS DUE:

          This readme file, the game it refers to, and the 
          entire Bob the Hamster concept are the creations of:

                JAMES PAIGE
                -----------
                CEO of H.R.P
                Chief Justice of the Hamster Republic
                Future best-selling author
                Self proclaimed Master Chef
                Pioneering canned meat advocate
                Direct male-line-decendant of Tomas de Torquemada, 
                 first Grand Inquisitor of the Spanish Inquisition
                 (Those fools at Ellis Island mangled the name a bit)
                
                       
                       
                       Thank you for reading!

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SOURCE CODE:
 Something like 10 years after the first release of BobQuest, I released
 the source code, for anyone daring enough to delve into that particular
 QuickBasic Mess. Point your subversion client to:
 svn://gilgamesh.hamsterrepublic.com/hamster/bobquest
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